What I’d wear to a formal wedding as a fashion editor

Embrace the drama.

Growing up in a small New Zealand city, I can’t say I’ve had to dress for many super formal events in my life. Besides my ninth birthday party, where I hired a limo and forced my friends to wear high heels and eat birthday cake with Seth Cohen from The OC’s face on it, the only occasions I ever ‘dressed up’ for were work Christmas parties, funerals and graduations.

Then I started approaching my thirties. Suddenly, the engagement party and wedding invites came flying in. Granted, most of them were classic NZ backyard gatherings but soon enough, my friend group chat (where we all share what we plan on wearing) levelled up, style-wise. After two years of Covid cancelling our plans, everyone was excited to look as tizzy as possible.

For more on rehoming your wardrobe, head to our Pre-Loved section.

Friends’ weddings started to become more formal: black tie formal. Traditionally, for women, this means a floor-length gown. I could no longer get away with my usual slip dress and platform sandals, nor the cocktail attire I’d slowly been collecting from years of working in fashion media. As someone who often wears ripped jeans and caps to the office, a floor-length gown couldn’t be further outside my comfort zone.

Figuring out your personal style while still adhering to a dress code is one of life’s big fashion conundrums. It’s why we dedicated a whole series, A Week In Work Outfits to see how others dress for corporate environments and stay inspired. Planning what to wear to a formal wedding is certainly more fun than planning an office outfit, but the dilemma remains the same: How do I match the dress code, while still feeling like myself?

Luckily, over the years I’ve made friends with some extremely stylish people who aren’t afraid to dress up. I’m talking about the kind of people who wear silk gowns to the supermarket, platform heels to festivals and top hats to the club (no, really). Inspired by their fearless and creative approach to formal attire, here are three outfits I’d wear to my next black tie event, which can all be sourced pre-loved if you know what to look for.

Outfit one: A vintage metallic gown

I think anything sparkly or jewel-toned is a win for a formal wedding, especially in the summer because a. it’s not white, b. it’s not black but can still be a dark ‘evening’ colour, and c. metallics really pop against a tan. There’s no need to buy something new – if you’re anything like me, the cost-per-wear on a metallic gown will be high over years. I’ve had the best luck on eBay using the search term “metallic evening gown” (specify gold, silver or whatever colour you want) with plenty of shiny results including vintage Calvin Klein, Dianne Von Furstenberg, Vera Wang and more.

Outfit two: Go backless

I’ve been told showing too much leg or too much cleavage at a formal wedding is a no-go (or at least, sure to garner some stares and tuts from the mother-in-law, you decide if you care). An exposed back, however, is both sexy and demure. A silky high-neck or halter dress with a low back would be a breezy option for a spring or summer wedding, while a long-sleeved, backless velvet gown would bring the right amount of drama to a winter event. For the latter, try searching for (pre-loved) backless velvet prom dresses using keywords like vintage Moschino or Ralph Lauren. For the silky summer halters, it’s Y2K Roberto Cavalli all the way, paired with pointy sling-back heels.

Outfit three: Asymmetrical maxi

There are so many clever Australian and New Zealand designers making cooler versions of a long formal dress. From Christopher Esber’s signature touches of hardware to the ’90s minimalist gowns by Paris Georgia, the options are endless. You can often find dresses from the aforementioned designers pre-loved to rent, or if there’s a particular style you know you like, set your alerts on eBay to make sure you get notified when one gets listed. Save yourself the time, money and stress!

To start browsing for your next black tie look, head to eBay.

eBay is not endorsed by or affiliated with any of the brands referenced in this article.