I’ve attended over 20 weddings, here’s how I found an outfit for each

“People don’t tend to remember if you repeated an outfit, they just remember if you had fun together.” 

The summer my partner and I got married, we saw our friends a lot. It was weird, really, given we were in the middle of Melbourne lockdowns. But every weekend that it was legal for hospitality venues to open, there we were, surrounded by friends, drinking, dancing and listening to emotional wedding speeches. 

We were in the thick of what would have been our friendship group’s wedding season, had swathes of us not had our plans thwarted by Covid. What was first mapped out as a handful of weddings dotted across the summer season instead became an onslaught of last-minute invitations whenever restrictions lifted. 

For more on the circular economy, head to our Pre-Loved section.

It was chaotic. Take our wedding as an example. Emboldened by restrictions easing in December (what would have been our wedding date), we decided to hold an intimate wedding several weeks later. With miniscule numbers and a restaurant as our venue of choice, we were successful. Our best friends weren’t so lucky, as reception venues were still subject to lockdowns. They postponed their wedding, then postponed it again, then the day before they were due to marry, were forced to postpone it again. Ultimately, they settled on a new date and despite many tears and many thousands of dollars lost, it went ahead.  

The wedding week went something like this: My partner and I got married on Friday, left for our honeymoon on Sunday, returned again on Friday for our best friends’ wedding, then flew out the next day to resume our honeymoon… where we saw them. 

Our situation was far from unique. I saw friends play bridesmaid one weekend and swap roles with the bride the next weekend. With many of our friends in long-term relationships that date back to high school, our friendship groups have become quite intertwined, so many of these weddings were attended by the exact same group of people. Weddings are a joyous occasion but sometimes, you can have too much of a good thing. 

The next summer was even better (or worse, depending on how you slice it). With so many weddings postponed during Covid and even more engagements from the previous year, we attended someone’s nuptials almost every weekend – often surrounded by the same socially fatigued faces.

One interesting consequence of the many, many weddings I went to is that I got to see how often (or infrequently, really) women outfit repeat. Shockingly, I don’t think I saw a single person rewear an outfit across the 20+ weddings I attended. It’s a feat I marvelled at then and still do now, but if I pause to reflect on it, I guess I seemed much the same. So, how did I find an outfit for each? 

Play the long game

I learnt long ago, after buying my year 12 formal ‘dress’ (a top), that it’s not ever worth buying a new piece on impulse for a special event. The external pressure to find ‘something to wear’ can easily cloud your judgement and lead to poor decision-making. 

This quickly became a personal rule and saved me from pouring hundreds of dollars into dresses I don’t really love and a wardrobe I don’t really like. Instead, I’ve given myself permission to always keep my eyes peeled. I’ll always try on a special occasion dress, even if I have nowhere to wear it, because one day, undoubtedly, I will. 

This rule works well for three reasons. First,  I avoid buying trend-based pieces because I don’t know when I’ll actually wear the item, so I find it’s safest to circumvent the trend cycle altogether. Second, without somewhere to wear the dress, I typically have to genuinely love the item. I know I’m not being swayed by a looming deadline – I either like it enough to buy it, or I don’t. 

That doesn’t mean I always buy the item right away. Given the absence of a pressing deadline, once I’ve left the changeroom, I’ll usually sit tight. I know I can always go back and buy the item, but in the meantime, I’ll set alerts on pre-loved platforms like eBay and wait to see if the item is listed for sale pre-loved. Often, it is, as people tend to wear a dress once then never again. It’s a long play, sure, but it’s well worth the wait. 

Implement a circular event wardrobe

While a number of my friends lean heavily on dress rental services, I quickly discovered that they’re not for me. I find them relatively expensive for a single wear and have been left disappointed when items look different on my body than I’d expected (I recall one apron-style dress that had my boobs bulging out the side). 

Instead, I prefer to play the resale market. Over time and with practice, I’ve learnt that I can buy and sell garments at roughly the same price, allowing me to get multiple wears from an item and then break even at the end. Sometimes, I’ve even made a profit as new season items that were once in large supply dwindled and became hard to find. 

I particularly love this model of dressing for an event because while you need enough money for an initial outlay, it’s relatively low-risk. It’s allowed me to experiment with my personal style and take risks I might not otherwise have taken. I’ve had fun wearing show-stopping gowns or dresses that feel way outside my usual wheelhouse. When I’ve felt body confident, I’ve worn more daring dresses, then sold them without a second thought. 

Once you learn to let go of your emotional attachment to clothes, it’s a great way to expand your wardrobe. 

Wear it again (and again)

It can be hard to do, but I promise outfit repeating is not as bad as you’re imagining. In the fatigue of finding outfits for so many weddings, I decided it was all a bit silly and I should just re-wear something. It was a decision made somewhat less difficult by virtue of my role – as a fashion editor, I find it easier to take sartorial risks and back myself. 

The first time I did it, I left the house feeling self-conscious and not as ‘special’ as I’d like. I felt even more uncomfortable as I arrived and saw all the beautiful women (in beautiful new dresses) in attendance. It wasn’t until I received a compliment on my dress, and then another, that I realised it was okay. One or two people noticed that I was outfit repeating (if others did, they didn’t say) and those who did spoke about how great the act was. From there, I outfit repeated a lot. 

There’s one particular dress I own that I visited on the sale rack at a department store for three consecutive years. I couldn’t find it on pre-loved platforms, so I would instead visit it, like clockwork, each time the store rolled out its old stock for sale. Each season, the store would drop the price a little more until it ultimately reached a sale price I could afford. I played the long game, and it’s easily my most complimented dress. 

I’ve now worn that dress to six weddings and each time, I get so many compliments.  The last time I wore it, a friend came up and gushed at how much she loved it, asking where it was from and complimenting the details. “I wore this to your wedding!” I replied. The interaction made me realise that literally no one cares about what you’re wearing, they’re usually too wrapped up in themselves. It confirmed what I already suspected: people don’t tend to remember if you repeated an outfit – they just remember if you had fun together. 

To start your own circular event wardrobe, head to eBay.