Road Test: I wore pheromone perfume to see if someone would fall in love with me

Are pheromones the modern-day love potion?

Modern dating can be such a drag. There’s the endless loop of swipes, the awkward small talk, the depressing first dates… The difficult truth is that looking for love requires vulnerability – you have to put your heart out there and take the risk that it could be rejected.

But what if you didn’t? Wouldn’t it be great if every cutie you came across just fell at your feet with lust, no effort required?

We like nosy people. Don’t be shy, head to our Beauty section for more. 

Pheromone perfumes are the internet’s new favourite seduction trick. Lather yourself in Pure Instinct, a unisex ‘Pheromone-Infused Essential Oil Perfume’ and you will (allegedly) become irresistible to anyone who catches a whiff. At a very affordable $32.99, it’s no wonder it’s gotten quite the buzz.

Now, I’ve written about the slippery nature of human pheromones in the past. While I must admit that the science behind this product looks pretty grim, I’m not here to kill the vibe on the pheromone frenzy. Besides, there are many phenomena that science still doesn’t fully understand (like the deep sea and mushrooms).

The reviews, of which there are over 50,000, are mostly positive. Fans recount stories of entranced fiancés, generous clients and humping dogs. On the other side, the critics call it useless, slimy and reminiscent of cheap air freshener. But never mind them – you know what I had to do.

When the little rollerball arrived in my mailbox, I cracked it open with glee. It had a sweet, fruity scent with a slight base note of chemical cleaning product. It reminded me of something from my childhood. I didn’t hate it but I did feel that if I smelled it for too long it would give me a headache. Good thing I’d agreed to wear it on my skin for a week!

Suddenly, I realised what it reminded me of. It smelled just like a watermelon Ring Pop candy. It was advertised as unisex, which got me wondering. If I met a man who smelled like candy, would I be chomping at the bit to take his clothes off? It seemed unlikely.

I was working from home the day it arrived, so after applying the product generously, I took my laptop to a nearby cafe to be among the people. As I took a seat on the sunny patio, I was immediately swarmed by bees. Alright, maybe not swarmed – but a couple of bees took a significant interest in me. I saw it as a good sign.

That night, when I met up with a friend for tapas, I felt like I was harbouring a horny little secret. If it worked so fervently on the bees, what could it do to a real human man? We chatted over sangria until the restaurant emptied out. When we headed to a second spot for more drinks, I got sloppy. I told him about the pheromones.

After he finally stopped laughing, I got him to smell my wrist. “Well?” I asked. He said it was nice, but the results were inconclusive. It was getting late, so he walked me home and we said goodbye.

The next morning I awoke to a text message from my friend. “I feel like someone should have to sign a consent form before they smell that pheromone shit,” he wrote. “Had me acting up. You can quote that.”

I didn’t ask for more details, but my confidence grew. Which was good, because I had a first date that night. I would usually be a bit nervous before meeting someone for the first time, but the pheromones had me feeling like I couldn’t lose. I doused them on and rushed out the door.

The man in question, who I’d met on ‘the apps’, turned out to be quite lovely. We had hotpot and he made me laugh. He was fun and interesting. But as the night drew on, I started to question the pheromones. Maybe it wasn’t just this tube of oil that was making this guy like me. Maybe we were just getting along, or whatever.

So, as the terrible scientist I am, I told him too. I think he was confused at first but he actually took quite well to the fact that he was being used as an unknowing guinea pig. I didn’t go home with him that night – but I may have seen him again the next day. With his face next to mine, he said, “I don’t know if it’s the pheromones, but you smell good”. Hey, I’ll take it.

The rest of the week passed pretty normally. At one point I was approached aggressively by a man at the train station who asked me if I had a boyfriend. But was that out of the ordinary? As any woman who frequents train stations knows, not really.

Sure, my attempt to test the efficacy of the pheromones was fraught with scientific blunders. To any STEM people reading this, I’m sorry – I’m sure someone else has dug into the research.

For all I know, the product could be just as potent as the love potions I would make as a kid from lavender twigs and puddle water. But I’m of the belief that if you find something that makes you feel hot and fun, don’t question it. Call it manifestation, call it the placebo effect, call it what you will. But if it gets the job done, do we really care how it does it?

To find out about other types of pheromone perfume, head here.