How to deal with ‘decision paralysis’ and the fear of getting it wrong

Ruminating, ruminating.

I’ve never been an overly impulsive person. I always put thought into my decisions, mentally doing a quick stocktake before committing to anything. Lately, though, I’ve found myself getting stuck in a thought loop. Whether it’s getting dressed for work or figuring out how I want to spend my weekend morning, it feels like even the smallest decisions carry a lot of weight.

Part of this comes from a feeling of overwhelm and having too many options available. On a good day, the sight of my wardrobe and the thought of putting together an outfit is exciting. On a particularly anxious day, it stops me in my tracks and I wind up scrolling Pinterest, feeling frantic. Though it’s relatively low-stakes, committing to one option fills me with worry, and I’m left ruminating on whether I’ve missed out on something better.

For more perspectives on health and wellness, head on over to our Health section.

According to psychologist Bec McWilliam, this feeling is best described as ‘decision paralysis’ – which is perfectly apt because it really does feel like being physically and mentally paralysed by the pressure of having to make a decision.

What exactly is ‘decision paralysis’?

As Bec explains, decision paralysis describes the feeling of being unable to make a choice, even when options are available. “Psychologically, it often happens when the perceived cost of making the ‘wrong’ decision outweighs the benefit of making any decision at all,” she tells me. “Rather than choosing, the person stays stuck.”

Decision paralysis can show up in small, everyday ways. It might involve spending half an hour trying to decide what to wear (guilty) or repeatedly needing to look over a menu before ordering. It can also show up in more significant areas, such as overthinking career choices, stressing over your relationships or deciding where to live.

“One of the more unhelpful cultural narratives we’re seeing, particularly through social media, is the idea that there is always a better option just around the corner,” Bec adds. At its most sinister, it can trap people in a constant state of comparison and hesitation.

Though anyone can be prone to decision paralysis, Bec says it’s more common in those who tend to be high-achieving, perfectionistic or anxious. “Individuals with ADHD can also experience decision paralysis due to challenges with executive functioning, particularly prioritisation and filtering information. We also see it in people who are highly self-aware or reflective.”

The fear of getting it wrong

As Bec tells me, decision paralysis is rarely just about the decision. It’s more commonly driven by underlying fears, like a fear of regret, being judged or missing out on a ‘better option’.

“There can also be cognitive distortions at play, like a belief that there is one optimal choice and making the wrong one will have lasting consequences,” she adds. “In reality, most decisions are adjustable. But when the brain frames them as permanent or high-stakes, it activates a threat response, which can shut down action.”

Periods of transition can also amplify decision paralysis. In your mid-twenties, for example, decisions can feel more consequential, or like they carry more weight. Whether it’s related to your job, relationships or money, it often intersects with a growing awareness of time and societal expectations.

“This can create what we call ‘perceived urgency pressure’, where people feel they need to get things right quickly,” Bec says. “Ironically, that pressure tends to make decision-making harder, not easier, because it increases anxiety.”

How to overcome decision paralysis

Psychologically speaking, feeling confident and backing your decisions rarely comes from making the ‘right choice’. Rather, it stems from building trust in your ability to handle whatever comes next. When you shift your focus from avoiding mistakes, to becoming more adaptable and resilient, decision-making feels far less stressful.

One practical tip she recommends starting with is to try and reduce the pressure surrounding the decision itself. “Instead of asking, ‘What’s the perfect choice?’, try reframing it to, ‘What’s a good enough next step?’,” she says.

Setting yourself limits can also go a long way. For example, try giving yourself a timeframe to make a decision, or narrow down your options to just two or three. This, she explains, helps reduce your cognitive load and prevents endless comparison.

“It’s also useful to separate reversible and irreversible decisions. Many choices, especially around lifestyle, work, or even location, are more flexible than they initially feel.” Recognising that your decision isn’t likely to have a lifelong effect can therefore help reduce any risk you might feel in getting it wrong and help alleviate some pressure.

Finally, tuning into your values rather than focusing on the outcome can also offer some clarity. “When decisions are guided by what matters most to you, rather than trying to predict every possible consequence, they tend to feel more aligned and easier to act on.”

For more on the psychology of decision-making, try this.