People with penises tell us what they like in a blowjob

“I love a slow speed at the tip of the head to start off, gradually increasing the speed and taking it all the way in.”

While we can’t get the phrase “oscillating penis” out of our heads – pun fully intended – I think it’s time we all moved away from the Elizabeth-Arden-cream moment that has Freud rolling in his grave. Instead, let’s focus on what people with penises actually want us to do with them.

Whether you want to call it a penis, a dick, a cock, or (in the fashion of some of our favourite raunchy novels) a throbbing member or bulging package, blowjobs are a quintessential part of sex for many people.

Interested to hear how others navigate the world? Head to our Life section.

But, for those giving head, it can be tricky to ask what your receiver wants when your mouth is a little preoccupied. To find out more, I asked five people with penises to share what they enjoy in a blowjob.

Charlie*, 21, he/him

I love a good blowjob that involves the perfect amount of sloppiness. It’s such a turn-on and definitely gets my thing going. I love a slow speed at the tip of the head to start off, gradually increasing the speed and taking it all the way in. Moaning is a bonus! Using hands at the base is definitely a good way to keep it fun and helps to build up to that sensory overload, especially when my partner switches between giving head and using her hands.

My favourite position would… be laying down and getting head like that. I feel more relaxed and can use my hands to give my girl some pleasure at the same time. It kind of encourages her to make the blowjob last longer. Also, never forget the balls, but no teeth whatsoever!

Jose*, 18, he/they

Kissing all over is a good start. Then slowly moving down the body makes it great foreplay. I personally like a slower pace to start off with, just taking your time so I can focus on all that tongue movement.

Andre*, 22, he/him

My favourite kind of blowjob is one that takes time. It’s a show, [so] make it look like one, you know. When she starts by working me on the outside of my clothes is such a turn-on. I really hate getting hard right away cause the feeling of getting hard inside my girl’s mouth is just so hot.

To make sure that doesn’t happen, I’ll just get her to pace herself. But before she can get my dick anywhere near her mouth, I just wanna break the tension with a lot of making out. [As a] bonus, it helps with making her mouth wet enough to just take me without having to lube up.

I love the feeling of my girl just running her tongue along the shaft underneath. That sends me into the fourth dimension, also a bit of pulling my balls around totally helps with that. Once the soft sexy side is out of the way, I just want my dick as deep into her throat as she’s willing to take it.

It’s like a kind of switch goes in my head where I need to see her take the whole thing, this primal moment of ‘I need that’. The best part is when we pace it out until I cum. Just go hard and deep, then bring it back down to chill and keep the pace steady so I can cum pretty easily. Edging is fun, but finishing all over my girl’s face and chest is better.

Daniel*, 18, he/him

I personally like it when my girl gets all sloppy with it, the wetter the better. Eye contact is a must, but not death staring into my eyes… more of a sultry gaze every now and then, that’s so hot. Especially when she gets teary and her mascara gets all smudged. That gets me so hard!

The other thing is rhythm, her hands and mouth need to be kinda fast paced but definitely not all over the place or else I can’t finish. Using one or both hands doesn’t make too much of a difference. When I say wet, I mean wet. That ‘gulp gulp’ sound is super attractive… it shows how much enthusiasm she has for wanting to give a blowjob as much as I want to get one. Excited participation is always attractive.

If you’re emotionally attracted to the person, the blowjob is always gonna feel incredible cause it’s such an intimate and personal experience with someone you like.

Eric, 23*, he/him

In a blowjob I like a medium speed, but very, very sloppy. Hands getting involved are also a total must. But what makes it the best is eye contact; that’s brilliant. I also have a thing for glasses, they just make her eyes so much sexier.

Changing up positions is also really fun: when she’s on her knees, when she’s on top, or when she’s kneeling while I’m sitting on the edge of the bed are the three main ones I enjoy. I know some people like teasing, but I don’t want too much. Instead, I really love when she is open to being used, especially if she likes it when I cum inside her mouth.

*Names have been changed.

For more tips and tricks on giving head, try this.