Eloping is a growing trend among young Australians, here’s why

“Try not to get caught up in what a wedding ‘should’ be or what you feel like you are obligated to do for the sake of others.”

There’s no feeling quite like the dopamine rush of celebrating the love of one of your nearest and dearest (or of a stranger who obligingly invited you because you’re the partner of so-and-so). Either way, the energy it provides is truly euphoric.

It’s safe to say I’m in the thick of it when it comes to weddings, with friends by the handful committing to taking their relationship to the next level. While I’m in no way denying the brilliance of a traditional confetti-filled wedding (and I’ve been to some unforgettable ones), I can understand why a couple might choose to elope.

Interested to hear how others navigate the world? Head to our Life section.

And it seems I’m not alone in feeling this way; eloping is on the rise among young Australians. Fashion Journal’s Branded Content and Features Editor Maggie Zhou wrote a feature earlier this year about Australians who eloped, where she noted that the term has in recent years taken on a new meaning.

“Elopements are typically as personal as the couple at the centre of them. While the term traditionally was used to describe the act of running away and getting married without the knowledge of your nearest and dearest, eloping has expanded as an umbrella category for small, intimate ceremonies, usually with only the celebrant or a couple of guests in attendance.” I spoke to Sydney celebrant Aniella Batten and Brogan Hembrow, an Australian who recently eloped, to give me some insight on the trend.

Prioritising what’s important to you

In the current economic climate, eloping makes a lot of sense. A recent survey by Easy Weddings of over 3,500 engaged and recently married couples found that the average spend for a wedding in Australia was $34,715. For many couples, that’s a serious chunk of change that could be put towards more permanent goals, like a house deposit or general life savings.

Aniella tells me that having no guests (or a very minimal selection) dramatically lowers the amount you’re spending, and the organisational headaches you’ll have to endure. “When you eliminate the large guest list, you can invest more in the experience for the day. Think amazing Airbnbs down south, scrumptious catering, luxe styling or keeping it simple with absolutely no bells and whistles,” she says.

The financial stress a large wedding would entail was a key reason why Brogan and her now-husband Antony chose to elope. After taking a leap of faith and going against the 150-person wedding they’d planned to have in New Zealand, they chose to elope to New York City for their ceremony. By freeing up the money that would have been spent on catering, venue hire, the wedding party and all the other assorted costs that come with a large wedding, Brogan says she was able to redirect her money into the experience she really wanted to have.

The couple held their ceremony at Corner Studio in Chelsea, purchased the bouquet the morning of and only had eight guests. With natural light, beautiful windows and crisp white walls, the venue was the perfect setting to exchange their vows before heading back to SoHo in a cab to get photos walking the streets as a newly married couple. The newlyweds stopped in at the iconic Balthazar restaurant before finishing their day off with a chef’s table experience at Estela with their intimate guest list.

“It’s important to define what is important to you and your partner. Try not to get caught up in what a wedding ‘should’ be or what you feel like you are obligated to do for the sake of others. If you are thinking about eloping, do it,” exclaims Brogan.

“I spoke to so many couples who had a wedding or were in the middle of planning a wedding and many of them said they would have eloped if they could do it all over because the stress and debt was not worth it. Buy your dream dress and choose your dream location and spend the money on having a day that is wholly about you and the person you’re marrying. You won’t regret it,” she says.

Aniella reiterates that eloping allows couples to curate a wedding that’s authentic to them, rather than catering to what family and friends might expect. “I am finding more and more couples placing an emphasis on the importance of ceremony and planning a wedding day that is authentically them, which is why I think there has been an increase of couples choosing to elope,” she shares.

“By eloping, the couple are choosing to prioritise what is important to them, and making a choice to have an intimate day that truly reflects them as a couple. Not everyone has dreamed of having a wedding since they were little, and yet, being married to the one they love, can still be of high importance… So eloping is a wonderful way for these couples to get married, without the big wedding day.”

So far in her two years of being a celebrant, Aniella’s only officiated a handful of elopements but tells me she has “quite a few coming up over the next couple of months, and I am really looking forward to them”.

An ABC article published last year about the growing popularity of eloping in Australia spoke to wedding planners in scenic areas like the South West region of Western Australia who are also seeing an increasing number of requests from couples choosing to elope. Margaret River Wedding Manager Carly Melderis told the publication that she has “more and more enquiries coming through every few days for elopements”.

With economic precarity on the rise, it seems elopements aren’t going anywhere. When you weigh up the financial benefits, the ability to curate your ceremony to exactly what you and your partner want (rather than catering to pressure and expectation from family and tradition) and the low-key nature of it all, the appeal is clear.

If eloping is something you’re looking into, Aniella mentions that prospective elopers will still need an authorised marriage celebrant and two witnesses present. And remember to choose your celebrant wisely, as the ceremony is such an important part of the day that really sets the tone for the rest of it. “You want someone who will work closely with you to represent you as a couple perfectly,” she says.

For advice on eloping, try this.