4 sexual wellness brand founders tell us how to get creative this Valentine’s Day
PHOTOGRAPHY BY JO DUCK FOR BECUMING
WORDS BY GENEVIEVE PHELAN
“Romance isn’t about grand gestures, lingerie and chocolate.”
It’s a misnomer that Valentine’s Day must be spent in misery if you’re technically ‘single’. It’s also a fallacy that you have to live it through rose-coloured, highly-romanticised glasses if you’re coupled up. Those tropes have officially reached their expiration date. Especially the Bridget Jones-adjacent spinster one, where a lonely girl guzzles red wine in a pool of foiled chocolates and a moat of used tissues.
We also don’t condone the elusive impracticality of the shiny and showy V-Day. That’s the one where you fret and sweat over what to wear, where to go to be seen, what to post on Instagram, or how much money to spend on a significant other.
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But the way we spend time with our partners and friends is changing, and we’re increasingly prioritising vulnerability and authenticity in these relationships. So it makes sense that the way we approach Valentine’s Day is changing.
Thankfully, there’s been a groundswell of do-good, purpose-built brands launching in Australia, particularly in the area of sexual wellness. A set of innovative and intelligent women are paving the way for a more sexually and self-empowered future, and they’re also reminding us that this calendar holiday isn’t a curse.
V-Day is merely a blip on the broader radar of opportune moments to indulge yourself, your most-loved humans, or your other half. But whether you’re spending it solo, in great company, or in the amorous embrace of a partner, deciding what to do to best embrace the love on February 14 can still feel like a challenge. Selecting the right activity, gift, or way to heighten intimacy this year can be overwhelming, with a vast expanse of sex toys and tools and wine bars and home-cooked meals to choose from.
That’s why we’ve summoned the leading names in the Australian sexual wellness industry to walk us through their personal plans for V-Day, advice for approaching the event with consideration, and how their own small businesses can lubricate our alone (or otherwise engaged) time. Here, they share their unfiltered, realistic and at-times erotic ideas for a more creative (and less stereotypical) Valentine’s.
Eloise O’Sullivan and Eloise McCullough, founders of Figr
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How can we enhance intimacy this V-Day, solo?
Eloise M: Well I’m as single as it comes this year, so I’ll be celebrating in style by doing the bare minimum. V-Day actually falls on my birthday so I celebrate every year by going out for a nice dinner with my loved ones (even though the single friends are starting to drop off like flies). Maybe this year I’ll treat myself by masturbating in front of a mirror (with Figr Fluid of course). I suggest you all do the same.
And how about with a partner?
Eloise O: Valentine’s Day is just a day to cement the feelings you have for each other. It definitely shouldn’t be a once in a blue moon celebration (and let’s be honest, it’s a commercial date where Hallmark can sell more cards). But on any day that you can go the extra mile and do things you usually couldn’t justify doing, do it.
How can we get more adventurous with a partner to mark the occasion? Or what’s something underrated we could plan, intimacy-wise?
Eloise O: My boyfriend and I have been experiencing the joys of poly dating. The things we’ve learnt from each other while dating another person together have been amazing and are such a turn-on. Of course, this might not be for everyone, but the world is filled with so many beautiful people and it’s such a fantastic adventure getting to share that with someone you love.
What is the ultimate girls night V-Day in your hypothetically single world?
Both: The ultimate V-Day should be a bougie wonderland. Make it a socialite-esque day of jumping from brunch to lunch to cocktails on a rooftop or if that sounds like your worst nightmare, just make sure you spend the day not lifting a finger, grab takeaways, go for a swim, read a book and all vibe together.
How can Figr make V-Day better?
Both: Figr Fluid takes out all discomfort. To feel at ease and comfortable makes any experience 100 times better. We’ve heard some people can’t live without it, and that’s what we love to hear.
Caroline Moreau-Hammond, founder of Becuming
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How can we enhance intimacy this V-Day, solo?
Spend a day romancing and enhancing intimacy with yourself. Be totally selfish and spend the entire day doing exactly as you please. That could be something as simple as a long masturbation session, cooking a delicious meal for yourself, or going on an adventure you’ve been wanting to embark on.
We often wait to experience something until we can share it with others. This Valentine’s challenge yourself to tick something off your bucket list, or do something you love, solo. Because, if you can’t love yourself, how in the hell are you gonna love somebody else?
How can we get more adventurous with a partner (if we have one) to mark the occasion? Or what’s something underrated we could plan, intimacy-wise?
Plan sex. It doesn’t sound sexy or particularly adventurous, but it can be. We often rely on spontaneity to ignite sparks, but this doesn’t always pan out, particularly in long-term relationships. Planning sex is sometimes viewed as a sign desire is lost or seen as forced and awkward. However, if you remain open-minded and share freely, it becomes the most efficient way to get what you want sexually.
Ahead of Valentine’s day, have yourself and your partner separately come up with a fantasy, role play or activity you’d like to do on Valentine’s day. Be imaginative and see it as an opportunity to ask for something you’re curious about trying. This is a great way to build anticipation. It also gives you insight into your partner’s likes and avoids miscommunications and uncomfortable surprises. You can call us at Becuming on 1800 GET OFF if you need inspiration. We’re full of ideas.
How can Becuming make V-Day better?
While toys and sexy lingerie are great, a lot more is required to help you feel connected and intimately linked to your partner. Creating rituals that allow you to reconnect as a couple is crucial. And that’s precisely what the Becuming Date Box is designed for. We’ve partnered with a series of brands to create a sensuous and delicious night in. It’s got it all: food, wine, candles, and the added extra sexy things to help reconnect with your lover.
We’ve included Rosewell’s Oil and Love Deeply card game, as well as the Twist Candle by Netherlands designer Lex Pott. The gorgeous Monique Barton has prepared a fish taco with jalapeno and pineapple salsa recipe for dinner. We’ve partnered with Borachio from the Adelaide Hills (Peramangk Land) for those who like wine.
We’re serving a delicious pet nat, aptly named Pash Rash, for summer. We’ve got Non’s Yuzu and Toasted Cinnamon non-alcoholic wine for those who want to go alcohol-free. The box is non-gendered, so no matter the configuration of your crowd, we got you. It is also appropriate for friends and those spending V-Day with someone in a platonic way.
Laura Miano, co-founder of Posmo
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How can we enhance intimacy this V-Day, solo?
After a busy new year’s and holiday break, most people are needing more time and less stress in their lives. With that, I suggest exploring activities and products that regulate your nervous system. This might be a relaxing bath or a massage with soothing oils.
Add an extra layer to your massage by including a hands-free sex toy. This is a great way to enhance intimacy as it frees up your hands so you have more opportunities to explore your erogenous zones. We-Vibe’s Moxie and Dame Eva II are great for this – you can purchase these through Posmo.
And how about with a partner?
There are many ways to increase intimacy with your partner, many of which I discuss in detail during sessions with my clients. These include enhancing quality time, learning more about your partner through intimacy questions, understanding your partner’s erotic identity, like their deep sexual desires, exploring activities that involve vulnerability or introducing something new into your relationship, like a sex toy! Introducing a new toy can be a great way to enhance intimacy with your partner on Valentine’s Day because it represents your commitment to nourishing your sex life.
What will you actually be getting up to on Feb 14?
After Liam and I finish working for Posmo for the day, we plan to walk down to Marion for a nice dinner and then we’ll likely stroll into the city to grab an ice cream from Spring Street Grocer. We have a lot of fun wandering around and chatting about all sorts of things, so I can imagine our Valentine’s Day will look something like that! And that’s just the mental lubrication for what will follow at home, but those details we keep to ourselves. Ha.
How can Posmo make V-Day better?
Toys, toys, toys, baby! Not only have our toys been picked for pleasure, [but] they are also picked for aesthetics, making them a perfect option to gift your loved one this V-Day. Sex toys are a great way to break routine, promote sexual communication and to learn more about how you and your partner like to give and receive pleasure. So by gifting a sex toy, you are communicating that you are committed to growing and nourishing the sex life you have with your partner. If you’re gifting a toy to yourself, it represents your commitment to prioritising your own sexual pleasure. These are both super important!
Alisha Williams, founder of Rosewell
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How can we enhance intimacy this V-Day, solo?
Valentine’s Day is often seen as an opportunity to focus on another person, through gifting, spending time together or having a shared experience. Applying that same approach to ourselves is perfect – taking the time to do something for yourself is vitally important. If nothing else, using this day as a prompt to do something that makes you happy is pretty great.
And how about with a partner?
Use Valentine’s Day as an opportunity to dig deeper into one another by connecting with something unusual. Consider skipping the flowers and chocolates for an outdoor activity, a night in or cooking a meal together. Gifting is always lovely, but the most special moments are often centred on shared experiences.
What is the ultimate girls night V-Day in your hypothetically single world?
I’d burn through The Holiday, Something Borrowed and The Devil Wears Prada with copious amounts of popcorn while soaking in a bath. It’s the simple pleasure of no commitments that I love.
What will you actually be getting up to on Feb 14?
My husband and I will be trying a new recipe we’ve highlighted and trying some non-alc wine.
How can Rosewell make V-Day better?
Grabbing a pack of Love Deeply for couples to have an uninterrupted, engaging conversation prior to any intimate activity is perfect. Our best-selling Dip Vibe is perfect for both beginners and seasoned pros at shared sex toys, for those keen to try vibes. For single gals, a copy of Dinner Parties is a wonderful opportunity to bond.
Want more Valentine’s Day ideas? Head here.
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