What to do if someone leaks your nudes

A practical guide for the worst-case scenario.

For Fashion Journal’s Assistant Editor Daisy Henry, the thought of taking nudes triggers unwelcome flashbacks to the 2010s, Snapchat and gross high school boys. “Nudes were rarely positioned as empowering,” she says. “Instead, the risk that they might be leaked felt like a dark cloud hanging overhead.”

In the years since, she’s come to realise that taking intimate photos can be a beautiful act of self-love. But despite recognising the nude photo as an outlet for exploring one’s sexuality, the threat of having them leaked still lingers in the back of her mind.

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With the alarming rise of AI, the eSafety Commissioner has seen an increase in reports of ‘image-based abuse’. This type of abuse includes the leaking of intimate images, but also encompasses cases involving deepfakes and pictures generated by so-called ‘nudify’ apps.

Whether the culprit is a former partner, a hacker or a bot, the result is the same – having nude photos of yourself created or shared without your consent can feel life-shattering, and dealing with the aftermath can feel impossible. Despite these feelings, there’s hope. With the help of a mental health professional and Australia’s government agencies, you can reclaim your agency and begin to feel safe again.

Talk yourself down

If you ever discover nude photos of yourself have been circulated, the first thing you’ll likely feel is complete and utter panic. “It’s understandable to feel betrayed, hurt, all these complex emotions, but try to remind yourself that this isn’t the end of the world. It feels like it is, but it isn’t,” says Callista Goh, a psychologist who specialises in trauma-informed, evidence-based care.

It’s one thing to understand that rationally but it’s quite another to feel it emotionally. Callista explains that activating your parasympathetic nervous system can help you regulate your emotions long enough to take practical steps to remove your photos and ensure justice is served.

She recommends trying several techniques to ground yourself. Breathing out longer than you breathe in, progressively relaxing your muscles or making gentle movements can counteract your natural stress response and calm your body. 

If you need a stronger jolt to quiet your anxiety, Callista tells me that a cold shower can activate the dive reflex, which triggers the parasympathetic nervous system to slow your heart rate and regulate your breathing.

“Sensory activities can also help ground you in the moment, rather than catastrophising about the implications of your pictures being leaked,” she says. “Listen to the birds or touch the material on your shirt, just look for things you can see, feel, hear, smell and taste.”

Once you’re out of that heightened emotional state, Callista recommends considering the evidence for and against the ‘worst case scenario’ you’ve imagined in your brain. “The reality of nudes being leaked is that government agencies and law enforcement can stop circulation in its tracks.”

How to take legal action

Bottom line: Sharing intimate images of someone without their consent is against the law. “It’s image-based abuse and there are a number of laws at the state and Commonwealth level to address it, including the Online Safety Act,” says a spokesperson from the eSafety Commissioner. So, what are your options? 

According to the eSafety spokesperson, victim-survivors’ primary concern is often the takedown of their nudes. “[Our] clear priority is to support those impacted and work to have this type of content removed as quickly as possible,” they tell me. “We have a removal success rate of around 98 per cent in cases of image-based abuse.”

Collect evidence (like screenshots or messages) and report it to eSafety via a form on their website. They’ll work quickly to remove your images and may issue fines or other enforcement actions. 

eSafety may also legally compel the person who shared your nudes to take specific steps to prevent further sharing of such content – their failure to do so can result in significant penalties. You can notify eSafety if any of your images reappear online via email.

The eSafety Commissioner can remove your images, but they can’t pursue criminal charges. If you’d like to press charges against your abuser, your local police force will determine which laws apply to your specific case, and launch an investigation against the person distributing (or threatening to distribute) your nudes. 

In some cases, the police may be able to help you get a protection order from a court that prevents the person from sharing your intimate images, contacting you, approaching you or monitoring where you go and what you do.

In the aftermath

Even after you’ve had your images removed, life won’t go back to normal straight away. Shame and guilt are incredibly common among victim-survivors of image-based abuse. You may blame yourself for sending nudes in the first place or begin to feel like you ‘deserved’ what happened to you.

According to Callista, emotions like shame and guilt can last as little as 15 to 20 minutes – if we can avoid getting sucked into a downward spiral. “Picture these emotions as clouds in the sky passing or an ocean wave growing then crashing,” she says. “Be the watcher of these emotions and remember you are not your emotions.”

If you’re finding it difficult to cope with daily life, struggling with your self-image or feeling unsafe after someone leaks your nudes, you should seek professional psychological support. Different therapeutic modalities can help you come to terms with what’s happened, deal with traumatic flashbacks and unpack the betrayal you’ve experienced. 

Beyond the disruptions to your internal world, image-based abuse can wreak havoc on your relationships. Entering a new romantic or sexual relationship can feel like an insurmountable challenge after your trust has been broken. 

“It’s important to know how to communicate about this experience to a potential partner, so they know how you’ve been affected,” Callista tells me. “Professional psychological therapy can help you learn how to communicate your needs effectively.”

But above all, you should focus on showing yourself compassion and leaning on your support systems, whether that’s a partner, friends or family. “Know that whatever the situation is, you’re not in the wrong. Give yourself the same compassion and grace you’d give to a friend.”

For more on what to do after experiencing abuse, head here.