15 Fashion Journal readers share how they’ve made new friends as adults

“Forget any embarrassment or nerves and just put yourself out there, even if it feels lame or weird.”

As we get older, the task of making new friends becomes increasingly daunting. It feels easier to put yourself out in situations like school, uni or starting a new job – but if your adult life is already well and truly underway, where do you go to find like-minded people?

Interested to hear how others navigate the world? Head to our Life section.

Some claim success with book clubs, dinner parties or even platonic ‘dating’ apps. New social encounters can be tricky, and the right friend might require a little trial-and-error (just like romantic dating!). Below, 15 Fashion Journal readers share the ways they’ve made new friends as adults.

Mia*, 30

At work and through friends of my friends at parties. Making a new best friend when you’re partying is the best thing ever!

Iris*, 29

I’ve introduced myself to people I’ve interviewed or written about for work and DM’d other writers whose work I admire. Making friends as an adult really comes down to having the confidence to simply say ‘hi’ to someone. It takes a lot of courage to put yourself out there and try to connect to someone new, but once you feel ready to do it, something as simple as a DM can really lead to some incredible friendships.

Sophia*, 29

Through my union! A few years ago I started going along to union meetings at my workplace where we discussed and planned a series of actions to improve our workplace conditions. A lot of the organising/campaigning stuff was done outside of work, at pubs or cafes or each other’s houses.

Those comrades (and many more since) have become my ride-or-dies – we’ve been to birthdays, picket lines, weddings and protests together. Unions are cool and empowering – if you’re not a member, you should join yours! And if you’re already a member, get more involved!

Makena*, 37

At exhibitions, at birthday parties and through friends. Be open-minded to meeting others. As soon as I opened myself up, I started meeting so many great new people. The ones who are like-minded have stayed in my life and it’s been wonderful.

Zuri*, 28

Facebook groups! I’ve made friends by joining in on activities with people like lunch, drinks, hikes, rock climbing, etc. I also joined a social netball club. Moving interstate really forced the situation – moving into a sharehouse was an absolute potluck and the best blessing.

Forget any embarrassment or nerves and just put yourself out there, even if it feels lame or weird. Even if you don’t make lifelong friends, it’s a fun process just meeting different people and talking about different life experiences. You end up finding your people eventually.

Louise*, 22

At a photoshoot. While I made a new friend, I will say trusting new friends in this day and age is important and it’s hard to find trustworthy people.

Emerson*, 43

Queer dating apps, swim team, yoga class and through friends of friends. It’s tough if you’re not from Melbourne or the private school cliques.

Jordan*, 33

I was a regular at a local bar – I’d go a few times a week after work on my own. I started noticing a lot of familiar faces in the room as time went on. One time, after going through a bit of a rough patch, I wanted a cigarette. I introduced myself to one of the regulars and asked for a lighter.

Gradually each of us would smile and acknowledge each other and more regulars until we all found ourselves sitting at the same table together. We’re all different ages and I think the dynamic is excellent. We constantly catch up at each other’s places now for dinner, events, drinks or whatever comes up… we all have great taste in beer.

Kai*, 37

Run crew. Whenever I move to a new city, I find a running crew to find friends. I am wildly socially anxious but it’s easier to talk when moving, and if you run with people a few times you end up getting onto serious life topics, which is good for bonding. I also continuously make friends on the internet through shared interests/art/creative output, some of whom have become IRL friends.

Yael*, 35

I recently made an instant connection with someone at a training event. To be honest, it was a bit of a fluke that we exchanged numbers (the trainer facilitated this for training purposes, and I just happened to be matched with my new friend). But then we also had a good excuse to meet up again after the training. It’s a certain type of person who is willing to put effort into making new friends as an adult. Once we find each other, it’s well worth it.

Annie*, 29

This is so hard and something I struggle with! But my best adult friends have been made through work, in jobs (mainly retail) where I work with other young people who share similar interests. Now that I work in a more isolated field, I would love to see how other people make adult friends so I can learn a tip or two.

Dahlia*, 26

Through other people’s friends, at work or moving into a new sharehouse. Sometimes even just having a yarn with people who are working at stores – but overall, making new friends as an adult is hard.

Olive*, 29

Don’t be afraid to slide into the DMs! Know a friend of a friend who just moved to the same city as you? Get in their inbox. I moved interstate and now have a whole group of friends made up of people who did the same. Keep a radar out for people who might be in the position to make new mates and don’t be afraid to make the first move… almost always they’ll be feeling the new city blues and be just as excited to meet you.

Christina*, 22

I made a lot of new friends while solo travelling and was lucky to meet so many people in random places who lived in Melbourne. I also tend to make new pals in the bathroom on a night out, or through mutual friends by tagging along to events that they may be going to. I used to get anxious about meeting new people, but now I just see it as an opportunity. If things don’t work out then I’ll probably never see them again, so who cares!

Rachelle*, 26

Honestly, half of the friends I’ve made as an adult have been through Instagram. I’ve followed some really cool people and have randomly sent them a message fangirling a little and then asking if they would want to grab a meal, go to a park or see a gallery exhibit. Pick chill activities that you would actually want to do, and check in with your body first.

Everyone who I’ve reached out to has always reciprocated that energy and I’ve made really good friends this way. There’s no harm in just shooting your shot! You may make beautiful friends and find community on the other side of it. Another way I’ve made friends is through friends of friends. I’ll always make the effort to initiate something after meeting someone, which makes the biggest difference.

First friend-dates can be anything you want them to be! If you’ve been needing to get groceries that week, you could totally have a local market shop as a friend date. Be creative with your own energy levels, and do things that you actually like doing which will make you feel more at ease and open and able to connect.

*Names have been changed.

For more on making new friends, head here.