A beginner’s guide to uni balls

For all you students who love to get turnt but #unistudentbudget.

To put it simply, balls are the trifecta. You have the perfect excuse to get dressed up, get drunk and tick off getting involved in ‘uni life’ all in one night.

As tickets are quite expensive, you seriously have to consider all factors before you go ahead and make the purchase. It’s difficult to know what honestly goes down at these uni balls if you or your friends have never been to one. 

To ball or not to ball, that is the question.

As a self proclaimed experienced ball-goer, here’s a few things I think you deserve to know.

You don’t need a partner

Unlike your high school formal, this is no pressure at all to take a special someone. If you’re single, take this opportunity to ride solo and get loose with your crew. 

It’s not as formal as the name ‘ball’ suggests

You can seriously wear whatever takes your fancy. Whether it’s a gown or an sexy yet simple lbd, doesn’t matter. But guys, you gotta suit up.

Don’t stress too much about your outfit choice because no one really cares that much about your outfit. Realistically, they’ll all be too drunk to even realise you chose red over burnt orange.

You don’t spend much time sitting at your table at all

Half the fun of balls is mingling, taking photos and hitting the dfloor. If you spend your whole night sitting at your table, your feet might thank you but you’re also being a bore.

No one tells you when entrée, mains or dessert are being served, it’s every man for themselves

So if you don’t make it to your table, either someone else will eat your meal or it’ll be taken away. Drinks are flowing and munchies levels are high. Your ticket is expensive, so you really wanna be getting your money’s worth in all areas. Eat, drink and be merry.

After the party’s the after party

Drink enough at the ball, but not too much, or you won’t make it to the after party. Also please try not to be the one kneeling over the toilet bowl halfway through having a tactical. It’s a long night, so pace yourself.

Renting out an apartment/hotel room is extremely handy and a sweet end to the night

It’s cheap when split with friends, you can bring a change of clothes for the after party, and most importantly, you can store a more comfortable pair of shoes so nothing stands in the way of kick-ons. You’ll even get to have a cute brunch the morning after.

And last but not least, my most important piece of advice to give. Putting this piece of intel to practice will make your ball-goer experience level ten: 

Every table has a couple of bread roll baskets that are replenished regularly throughout the night. Before you head off, load your clutch or suit jacket with some of these little bundles of heaven so you have some sustenance to power you through the AP. Thank me later.

Happy balling!

Illustration by Twylamae who also makes tees like this which are pretty much the best thing ever.

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