Does dick size matter to you? 17 Australians weigh in

“Usually how good someone is in bed is based on chemistry, consideration, energy and good foreplay.”

At the risk of sounding a little too earnest about a penis-related article, this topic was cause for a lot of discussion in the Fashion Journal office. When the idea struck to pose this dick-size question to our readers, we figured it was an age-old, classic women’s magazine topic – and breaking the fourth wall here, we just didn’t think twice about it.

In reality, the question opened up a larger conversation about bodies, objectification and societal expectations. We still want to talk about it from a sex and pleasure perspective, but we feel it’s important to highlight some of the critiques our readers had of the topic. Because we like to think attitudes around sex have evolved since the early 2000s – when magazine headlines about ‘pleasing your man’ and ‘getting the ultimate summer body’ were commonplace. And sometimes, it’s necessary to check yourself.

Looking for more thought-provoking reads? Try our Life section.

Below, we’ve tried to include a varied sample of the kinds of answers we received. The general consensus is that it truly doesn’t matter because everyone’s experience of sex, pleasure and genitalia is completely unique to them. Sex, however you define it, goes so far beyond the ‘mechanics’ – it’s about atmosphere, chemistry and context. With that in mind, read on to hear what Fashion Journal readers had to say.

Priya*, 30, she/her

Not so much! If he is a master at foreplay and the build-up, then it’s not a huge deal. It’s always a bonus though.

Fiona*, 21, she/her

Nope. I have heaps of issues with my pelvic floor muscles, so honestly the smaller the better. Some of the best sex I’ve had was with a micro penis. In my opinion, if they’re interested in your pleasure and you’re both enjoying yourself, it’s good sex. It seriously is all about how you use it…

Regina*, 45, she/her

Yes, but only at the extreme ends of the scale. Definitely not as much as men think, it really is about the whole experience.

Maria*, 26, she/her

I think it does personally! I think I have pretty small anatomy down there so the bigger the dick, the more uncomfortable it is for me – especially in positions like doggy style. It really be hitting the cervix (worst pain ever). And if it’s really small you can’t feel anything and it’s just awkward, I know there’s nothing they can do about it but I hate having to pretend and feel like I have to perform for someone to not hurt their feelings.

Archie*, 29, he/him

Na, way more important that there’s chemistry and that they signal that they want to be a good lover or meet the energy of what I’m looking for. I mean, this is why dick pics just don’t really work right? You can get a photo of a huge dick, but there’s nothing attractive about that person sending it to you.

Let’s say you made a spreadsheet with all the ways to measure and quantify male and female genitalia, there would end up being far more categories to signify what’s the ‘perfect’ vagina… perpetuating the lie that society can collectively discern what is beautiful and what is not. Historically, [this] lands us in some ugly places, in which corporations and racists win.

We don’t need more labiaplasty or dick enlargement ads preying on vulnerable people with body issues. What if we ended the question once and for all and just left it to… the individual… collectivising data on this issue serves no one other than journalists trying to put out a cheap and intellectually vapid story.

Valerie*, 24, she/her

No, as I’ve genuinely had way better sex with smaller sizes. My ex was significantly well endowed to the point where it was a known thing in our friendship group. I used to experience discomfort and since he was my first, I even saw a doctor thinking something was wrong with me. Since breaking up, I’ve seen much smaller sizes which to me feels so much more enjoyable – so TBH, smaller is definitely still good.

Azalea*, 24, she/her

No, it’s what you do with it that matters most. Also personally, anything on the bigger side actually scares me and can be painful. I’ve had dates with people that afterwards, I wouldn’t see because they were too big! Everyone’s anatomy is different. And usually how good someone is in bed is based on chemistry, consideration, energy and good foreplay. I want it to be exciting and size has never been a part of that… I couldn’t care less about size.

Li*, 29, she/her

Dick size does matter to me, but is certainly not a deal breaker, it’s important for my pleasure. Being a tactile person I am drawn to dicks that feel good (inside and out), a bit of heft goes a long way! In some ways, it’s the same as the ergonomic feeling of your favourite pen.

Trinity*, 24, she/her

Absolutely not. I’ve had amazing sex with all dicks… but there’s no denying that a guy with a fat dick that knows how to use it (if it’s big but they don’t know what they are doing with it… [it] actually makes them less attractive) is just so hot. [Maybe it’s] stupid and primal…

Leighton*, 26, they/them

Not at all, their size might dictate whether or not we have penetrative sex… but that’s such a minor part of my sex life anyway.

Rory*, 32, he/him

No, I’ve had the full spectrum of dicks and I honestly feel that both big and small don’t matter. The bigger ones seem to hurt a lot more, where the smaller… hit more pleasurable spots. Never discriminate on size until you try it.

Dannie*, 44, she/her

[It] does not matter, though I would prefer smaller over massive to minimise discomfort. The best sex I’ve ever had is with a guy who has the smallest dick I’ve ever seen. Definitely not what you have, but how you use it.

Claire*, 30, she/her

Absolutely emphatically no. I have danced with big huge dongers and been seduced by small sausages. And then the various sizes in between. It ain’t never mattered what’s between their legs – it is always what’s between their ears that makes all the difference. An ex had a massive penis (universal standards being used here) and when we were together it was cool… [but] when we broke up and had sad breakup sex, the penis just was not interesting, nor something I missed.

One of the best lovers I’ve ever had the good fortune of tango-ing with was on the considerably smaller side (again, I’ll implement this imaginary standard). With sex, there are so many variables – mood, emotional attachment (or lack thereof), how garlicky that yiros you just ate was, where you’re doing it, etc – but the machinery has never been a defining factor.

Sasha*, 31, she/her

Not really, [but I] definitely don’t want it too big as it can be uncomfortable. Average size is perfect! Size doesn’t really matter, but sometimes shape can be a positive or negative.

Kya*, 21, she/they

Dick size doesn’t tend to matter to me. But preferably over five inches, and I don’t like it too big as it’s painful. It’s more how you use it and confidence is always hot. Learn how to use it, learn how to pleasure your sexual partner and you’ll be fine.

Natalie*, 29, she/her

People say it’s not what you’ve got but what you do with it… I agree to an extent. At almost 30, I’m horny for intimacy and girth. However, I did my fair bit of rooting in my early to mid-20s, and have seen micro penises to third legs. Overall, I think girth is the most important. Girth ftw!

Sang*, 25, she/her

No! I have been with what people consider the ‘big dream dick’ and average-sized [penises], even some of a smaller size… honestly, size does not matter! Bigger-sized dicks often are attached to people who lack creativity, it’s like they put in no effort because they think the size is enough. Average get creative, often have more stamina… and let’s get real for a hot sec, my vaginal canal is not that long. Size does not matter!

*Names have been changed.

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