What I wish I’d known before falling pregnant, from the good to the gross

“I’ve had to regularly sit on the couch in my undies, legs spread, with a bag of frozen peas held against my vulva.”

“You’re not even that pregnant,” my husband said to me as I lay half-asleep on the couch, beckoning for him to bring me a glass of water. I didn’t have the energy to rise from the couch and get it for myself, and he was growing increasingly frustrated at having to wait on me hand and foot. 

I’m well aware this makes my partner sound like an ass, but to be fair, I was in agreement. I was around eight weeks pregnant, well before the time most people choose to share their good news and well before I was ‘showing’. He was right. In the 40-week timeline of pregnancy, I really wasn’t that pregnant. So why did I feel so heinous?

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I could hardly move. I barely had the energy to function at work, would come straight home to sleep on the couch, spent my weekends in bed, and felt like I was nursing the world’s worst hangover with the super-cute catch that it wouldn’t ever ease or go away. 

Turns out those first months of pregnancy are among the worst a person can experience, and until I got my pregnancy myself, I honestly had no idea. Pretty much the entire first trimester is shrouded in a degree of mystery, as most people don’t announce their pregnancy until they’re into the second trimester.

By that point, all the awful morning sickness, fatigue and hangover feelings are gone, replaced by what’s called the ‘honeymoon period’ of pregnancy. The morning sickness has typically cleared up, and no one wants to talk about the days they couldn’t get out of bed or that time they ate only Vita Wheats for a week. 

Of course, I knew about morning sickness. And I knew it could last all day. But I assumed it would be intermittent waves of nausea, followed by a neat vomit and then a return to feeling normal. I assumed the throwing up would be the hardest part about hiding my pregnancy, and the rest would run smoothly.

Instead, I told work almost straight after I found out. My energy was nowhere, and my brain fog was unlike anything I’d experienced. I needed people to complain to and comfort me, and to understand why I wasn’t performing at my optimum level. 

These were among the first few surprises that came with being pregnant, but there have been plenty more I swear no one talks about. There are things I wish I’d known before I fell pregnant myself, so I could’ve had an easier time, but also so I could’ve better-supported friends and family through their own pregnancy journeys.

I’m sure my partner would have preferred to know sooner as well, to avoid having a damning anecdote about him published nationally. First, I wasn’t prepared for just how enormous my boobs would swell due to hormones alone. I swear I have breast tissue under my arm (which is a thing, women do grow ‘underarm boobs’ during pregnancy).

Starting at an E cup, mine have already grown to an H cup (I’m a size eight to 10, for context), and I’m told they’ll grow even bigger when my milk comes in. I had to Google what cup sizes bras can actually go to, and it starts to sound more like a radio station than a boob-holder. 

Weirdly, my band size has also increased. I’ve not gained too much weight, so I put this down to the fact that your ribcage actually flares open when you’re pregnant, to make way for the baby. 

Your abdominals start to move apart too, which for some pregnant people means a ‘cone’ or ‘dome’ can form when you strain your stomach muscles. Aside from looking alien, it can lead to ‘abdominal separation’ down the track, which is a term I’m still too afraid to Google just yet. 

To carry all the extra weight and help with a shifting centre of gravity, feet will also ‘flare out’ during pregnancy. For some people, they need to go up a shoe size, as their feet won’t fit their shoes anymore. Later in pregnancy, people often opt for shoes they can slide into, as it’s hard to tie up shoelaces around a widening belly. I’ve just learnt this can lead to cracked heels, another common foot issue during pregnancy. 

The full-body widening can reach above the shoulders, too. For some people, the nose actually widens too, changing how their face looks for the duration of the pregnancy. 

Inside, things are also swelling. From early pregnancy, blood volume can almost double, meaning a pregnant person can have up to twice as much blood moving around their body. The heart has to pump faster to keep up, meaning pregnant people can get puffed out and tired way more easily. Before they even look pregnant, a pregnant person might struggle with stairs or general, basic activities.

Personally, I developed a waddle before I developed a noticeable baby bump, a fun result of pelvic pain. This same pain – the result of inflammation – has meant I’ve had to regularly sit on the couch in my undies, legs spread, with a bag of frozen peas held against my vulva.  

I knew my pelvic floor wouldn’t be the same post-pregnancy but didn’t expect for it to weaken during pregnancy. It makes sense, the pelvic floor is suddenly supporting a lot more weight, but I’ve had to be really on top of my Kegels to avoid wee escaping when I sneeze. 

If you’re big into beauty and skincare, some fairly big changes happen here too. I immediately had to stop using retinol and, after chatting with my doctor, also stopped using both my LED face mask and microcurrent machine. These three elements were the backbone of my skincare routine, and I’ve noticed big changes in my face from that alone.

Even if I’d kept my routine the same, I have no doubt I’d be observing noticeable changes. Pregnancy can lead to an increase in melanin, causing dark, splotchy patches across your skin. It’s also why people can develop that dark line down their belly in the later stages of pregnancy that I’d always assumed was a snail trail of belly hair. 

Many people know about cravings, but I was surprised to learn about food aversions. This is where previously loved foods start to seem revolting. For me, coffee started to taste like metal and I couldn’t stand the sight or smell of it for the first half of my pregnancy.

Now, thankfully, that aversion has passed, but it’s been replaced by another weird symptom. Now and then, but mostly in the mornings and when I’m outdoors, I can smell burnt sugar. I’ve searched whether this is the same as smelling burnt toast (a stroke symptom, apparently) but strangely it seems this symptom is unique to me. 

Cravings also can extend beyond the edible to the very oddly specific. I heard recently about a woman who started to crave chewing rubber bands throughout her pregnancy. 

Stories like this aren’t uncommon, and it seems like everyone has had their own weird pregnancy ‘thing’ they weren’t expecting. Ultra-dark nipples, louder-than-usual farts, surprise nose bleeds, and an abundance of vaginal discharge – these are all relatively common.

We’re typically told not to consult Dr Google lest we fall into a spiral of anxiety, but in pregnancy, it’s been strangely comforting. No matter how weird or wonderful the symptom, I feel much less alone knowing someone else has had a similar experience. 

For more surprising pregnancy symptoms, head here.