A guide to having sex on your period

Getting freaky on your flow.

There are lots of things I don’t feel like doing on my period. Going for a run. Wearing anything with a zip. Ignoring the double choc, cookie encrusted, caramel swirl ice cream in my freezer. But sex? No way is that getting cancelled. 

In fact, if I tell a dick appointment that it’s my ‘time of the month’ and they cancel, it’s an instant turn off. If someone is freaked out by my body, they don’t deserve to be near it. A lot of people choose not to be intimate during their periods. Sometimes you don’t want to leave the couch, sometimes you prefer to cuddle, or perhaps you’ve been burned by a bad experience.

For more sex advice, head on over to our Life section.

I respect those reasons, but I truly believe the only person who should be telling you that your body is off-limits, is you. So here it is, my case for period sex. And if you don’t believe me (rude), I asked certified life coach and relationships expert Megan Luscombe to weigh in, too.

Megan works with singles and couples around the world on relationships, dating, confidence, boundaries and more, and I hope she makes you feel like the empowered goddess you are. 

Is it safe to have sex on your period?

“Yes, it is,” says Megan. “In fact, some find it extremely enjoyable.” Hello reader, my name is ‘some’. Look TBH you probably already knew it was safe, I just wanted it on the record. Hopefully, like me, you’ve already been doing it for years!

(Un)cramping your style

We’ve probably all thought a heat pack is ‘better than sex’ when we’re doubled over with tummy pain. But guess what? “Sex on your period can be beneficial when it comes to alleviating cramps,” says Megan. That’s right, it’s not all back rubs and chocolate deliveries – your partner can really make a difference when it comes to period pain.

There are a few reasons for this. When you are on your period, your uterus cramps up. After you orgasm, your body unclenches, which can really relax those hard-working muscles. Additionally, climaxing also releases endorphins, your body’s own ‘happy drug’ that boosts your mood and dampens pain. The great thing about cumming, apart from the O-bvious? It’s a solo sport too. No partner? No problem. 

BYO lube

I feel like I spend 90 per cent of my period cursing that blood, scrounging around in my bag for the elusive last tampon, and wondering why I chose today to wear that new white linen pantsuit. But blood isn’t just a pain; in fact, it’s a natural lubricant. It’s already there, so why not put it to use?

Flexibility 

Your cervix opens up during your period – it’s how blood and uterine tissue leaves your body. Some people find this cervical relaxation makes them more flexible, and it may even allow you to experiment with positions that usually feel stiff or weird. 

The flip side is that it isn’t just easier for Ps, Vs, fingers, tongues and toys to explore, that opening can also be an ‘in’ for bacteria and leave you more susceptible to STIs. “If you are engaging in casual sex with multiple partners it’s always important to wear protection to ensure safety,” says Megan. 

Hor-moan-al

Periods get a bad wrap, especially when it comes to emotions. But one place your moods can swing to? Horny. Really fucking horny. That’s right, your surging hormones can actually kick your sex drive up a gear. Feeling sexy is sexy; chances are your partner will be turned on just knowing how turned on you are. 

Heightened arousal can lead to heightened sensitivity, meaning erogenous zones like your nipples might feel particularly touchy. Have fun exploring these new sensations with your partner. Can they gently run their fingertips over an area they usually squeeze? Or blow somewhere they usually suck? If you’re too sensitive altogether, ask your partner to trace a map of the boundary lines with their tongue. 

Set dressing

Some people get a little lightheaded at the sight of blood, and while I want to see your eyes rolling into the back of your head when you’re with me, if you faint that’s going to be a mood killer. There are a few simple hacks to help put your mind at ease if blood makes you squeamish. 

“If you’re a heavy bleeder, place a towel under yourself if you’re adventuring in between the sheets,” says Megan. If you’re worried a towel will ruin the moment, consider opting for darker sheets instead. These can be your full linen fantasy, or just something cheap from Target if they’re only there for one task! Invest in a mattress topper too, so you can easily wash the whole kit and caboodle when you’re done. 

Splish splash

Some people love shower sex. Others loathe it. You’re either channelling Daniel Craig and his lil’ golden butt in steamy Skyfall, or you’re a drenched daddy longlegs one slip away from your parents having to lie about how you died at your funeral.  

Even if you usually hate a shower romp, your period is the perfect time to experiment. Some of the things you don’t like about shower sessions – like the water screwing with how wet you are – will actually be fixed by your period giving you additional lubrication. Plus, it’s the perfect place for a sexy rubdown and clean-up afterwards. 

Building trust

I ask Megan about the top reasons to have sex on your period. Number one? “It feels great!” Number two? “It encourages sexual freedom whilst supporting body empowerment, and helps normalise a bodily function.” 

I have sex during my period because I don’t want to feel like my body isn’t ‘sexy’ for 20 per cent of the year. Your period is personal, and maybe you don’t want to share that with somebody else. Even if it’s something you don’t feel comfortable with, I recommend starting the conversation with your partner. Sharing vulnerabilities builds intimacy and trust, and when you let someone in on something deeply personal, you’re letting them in on something pretty special. 

When it’s still a ‘no’

If you’ve read the above and you just don’t feel comfortable, there are still ways you can celebrate yourself and make your period something to look forward to. If you don’t want to go all the way but are still feeling frisky, consider investing in toys and playing with your partner. Set your own boundaries. There’s lots of fun to be had in ‘look but don’t touch’, and it can be a huge turn on to watch your partner watch you. 

Wrapping up

There are enough reasons to feel bleugh when you’re on your period – don’t add self-enforced celibacy to the list. “We should be empowered and celebrating the period,” says Megan. “It’s a natural process that needn’t be stigmatised (and let’s be real, if men had it, there would be a national fucking holiday for it).” Amen sister. And the next best thing to a holiday? You’re reading my mind. 

For more on period sex, try this.