I asked a sex worker what she wants people to know about her industry

“There’s so much diversity in the sex industry and our clientele, but people really dismiss that. We see people from all walks of life.”

Jenna Love is a full-service sex worker dialling in from her home in regional NSW, where she lives with her husband and pet cat. Yes, Jenna is married and completely open about it. As she states in the FAQs on her website: 

“I don’t really agree with the ‘buying a fantasy’ idea of sex work. When you pay to spend time with me, you don’t get a fantasy – you get me. A married woman who is a sex worker. Something that actually isn’t that uncommon, it’s just that many sex workers understandably choose to keep their partners out of the spotlight. Yes, my husband knows all about my work and no, he won’t come home in the middle of a booking – he has absolutely no interest in putting himself in that situation!” 

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On Jenna’s website you’ll also learn the 34-year-old doesn’t drink, smoke, is an atheist and is a proud ‘leftie’, which she says is “kind of compulsory when you get your hooker card”.  

“For a long time I thought (sex work) couldn’t be a career or long-term option,” Jenna tells me, as her cat skulks on screen in demand of a cuddle. “It seemed like a means to an end, something useful while I was studying and finding my feet.” Jenna started sex work purely for financial reasons while she was completing a degree in theatre, an industry she notes also requires you to “get inside people’s heads”. 

“Both mine and my husband’s cars were written off within the same week. Starting sex work was challenging for the relationship but we were able to navigate it with a lot of communication. It also helped that it was in exchange for payment, it was my job. It wasn’t about emotional connection,” she tells me.

Jenna stopped sex work to pursue other interests when her finances were more stable. “But in my time away from the industry I realised how much I missed it. I thought it was all about the money, but actually, I really like having sex with a variety of people and exploring different things. One of my favourite things about my job is getting to know people in such an intimate setting.” 

It’s more than just a career

For the last five years, Jenna has proudly embraced sex work as more than a career. “I came back and decided I wanted to do it properly on my own terms. I also become involved with advocacy and Scarlet Alliance. Sex work is not just my job, it’s a really big part of my life.”

Scarlet Alliance is the Australian Sex Workers Association and the national peak body representing sex workers in Australia. Jenna works as the organisation’s secretary alongside her role as a full-service sex worker. Despite her passion for her profession, Jenna has mixed feelings about its name. 

“It’s tricky because I love the term sex work. It’s a great term, I’m a big fan. But the problem is having ‘sex’ in the title perpetuates the idea that what we do is all have sex and it’s absolutely not the case.

“Most bookings go for an hour. The sex takes up about seven minutes. What are we doing for the other 53? If all someone wants is to have an orgasm, Fleshlights are a lot cheaper. It’s not just about that,” she explains.

Jenna is frequently asked what her clients have in common. Her answer is intimacy. “Not all sex workers are women and not all clients are men. There’s so much diversity in the sex industry and our clientele, but people really dismiss that. We see people from all walks of life. The only thing my clients have in common is that they’re searching for intimacy.

“People want to feel wanted and desired and seen and heard. Since COVID, it seems the need to feel desirable and connect with another human being has only increased. We’ve all had bookings where there’s no sex.” Jenna also sees a number of clients with severe disabilities. Though they’re receiving a lot of physical contact, it’s intimate touch that they’re craving. 

One of Jenna’s terms upon returning to sex work was the decision to go ‘face out’ – the industry term for showing your face on your website, in advertising and so on. “It’s a big decision to make, and it can have a lot of consequences,” she tells me. Such consequences involve not being allowed to enter the US, where sex work is illegal and they use facial recognition software at the border. “I’ve heard many stories of people flying all the way over there, only to not be allowed in and treated like criminals.”

It’s just one example of the discrimination the industry still faces, despite what the rise of sites like Only Fans  may have you believe. “Because OnlyFans has gotten so big, people assume there’s no stigma but in reality, we’re still discriminated against on a daily basis, on a personal level and an institutional level. We get our bank accounts shut down. Those of us who are face out can’t travel to certain countries. 

“People have their kids taken away because an ex-partner found out they do sex work and it’s seen as ‘poor moral character’. People lose day jobs, if they’re using sex work to supplement their civi (‘civilian’ job) and people find out. There’s a big difference between creating sexually explicit content online and sex work. There are real-world risks and consequences to what we do. I bloody love my job. I won’t pretend I don’t love it, but it can severely impact your life.” 

Jenna has an OnlyFans account but only uses it to supplement her income from sex work, as “intimate touch is something special, and for me, the in-person interactions is what it’s always been about”.

What does Jenna think is needed to destigmatise the industry? 

“Decriminalisation is a good start but it doesn’t guarantee anti-discrimination. We’re fighting to have sex work labelled in the anti-discrimination act, but even if it’s written in law it won’t really stop people. 

“Laws are really important but social change is equally important. Conversations are important. Talking to, and platforming, sex workers rather than talking to people about sex workers is important,” she explains. 

Jenna co-hosts the podcast Somebody You Love discussing the experiences and nuances of her industry. “Chances are, somebody you love is a sex worker, we’re everywhere in society. And we’re professionals! If you want to explore or learn about your sexuality, go to the best. 

“At the end of the day, we’re just two people in a room. We have a chat, we might have something to eat, and what happens, happens. There’s no pressure. But also, if you do want a guaranteed root it’s a pretty good way to go about it.” 

For more information on the discrimination sex workers in Australia face, head here.