What’s ‘sexual astrology’ and how can it impact your love life?

Written in the stars.

Attraction is extremely mercurial. The things that turn us on are often a bit of a mystery, even to ourselves. Over time, through much messy trial and error, we find out more and more about our likes and dislikes, but even so, life’s full of surprises. 

The better understanding we have of our own sexual motivations (as well as our partner’s), the better sex we’re going to have. So if you’re on the hunt for some clarity, it might be worth looking upward, towards the cosmos.  

Looking for more thought-provoking reads? Try our Life section.

Astrologer Stephanie Johnson of Seeing With Stars says sexual astrology can provide some insights into what draws us to one another. “Does somebody’s intellect attract us or does an emotional connection? Is it really physical – does it [need] to be a sexual physical spark?” she says. 

“It’ll also maybe tell you about whether you think your sexuality is a very private thing between two individuals or whether you are more outgoing about it, and it might also tell you where your basic sexual impulses are, how important they are to you. Some people are not particularly sexual and [for] other people, sexuality is highly important to them – both their own and who they’re attracted to.”

She says when she’s looking into someone’s sexual astrology, she’ll take a look at the sun sign, which represents how we express ourselves. She’ll also dive deep into the placements of two key planets: Mars and Venus. 

“I don’t think it makes a big difference what your gender is, your sexual preference if it’s for a male or female, or same-sex or different sex… I’m still going to look at the planet Mars – how you express yourself physically, sport, sexuality, the lot – and the planet Venus – what attracts me? Am I attracted to somebody because they’re really smart, or because they look really hot? Or maybe both?”

She breaks it down for me by the elements. Stephanie says fire signs tend to be the most, well, fiery. “Aries, Leo and Sagittarius, that’s like ‘Come on, baby, light my fire. We’ve got to have an adventure together. It’s gotta be hot, it’s gotta be fast, it’s gotta be adventurous.’” 

On the other hand, earth signs – Taurus, Virgo and Capricorn – are much more sensual and gradual. “With a fire sign, a spark has to be lit from the beginning, whereas for the earth sign it could be more of a slow burn,” she says. “It’s more about ‘Do I feel comfortable with you?’. It’s really strange, but ‘Do you smell good? Do you feel good? Do you touch me?’”

For air signs, like Gemini, Libra and Aquarius, it’s much more cerebral. “A friend of mine once said to me ‘I can only have sex with somebody who I find intellectually stimulating’. And I thought, ‘Oh, wow! That’s a real air sign thing’,” Stephanie tells me. “It’s like, you know those kinds of quick-witted repartees and exchanges – flirting! Flirting is an air sign thing. It’s gotta be a fast connection and a spark again, a little bit like the fire, but this one’s more of the mind.”

Finally, the water signs (Cancer, Pisces and Scorpio) prioritise feeling safe and comfortable. They need to be understood deeply before they can develop a sexual connection. “Or it could be the other way around,” she says. “‘I’ve had sex with this person and now I need the emotional. I can’t just hop into bed with somebody, I’ve got to actually have some sort of emotional commitment or connection or that type of thing.’”

Stephanie says looking into astrological compatibility can have multiple benefits – it can help you seduce your crush, it can help you decide if someone will be a good match for you and it can save you from hurt feeling in a relationship.

“Let’s say you’re a Virgo and you really value taking your time and you could be a little bit prudish about sex, then you’re going to have trouble if you’re with an Aries who’s like ‘What are you talking about? Let’s just have sex. Let’s have it on the beach, let’s have it in the bedroom, let’s have it wherever’.”

But for those stressing about the astrological incompatibility of their relationships, Stephanie offers a final word of reassurance: commitment and love can triumph over synergy.  “I think the commitment side of a relationship is quite different to the sexual one. And I think commitment is where two people have decided ‘Come what may, we’re going to work through our differences and stick things out’.”

To read your sex horoscope, head here.