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The art of mid: Why I’m embracing mediocrity this year

Words by Maryel Sousa

“Studies have found that perfectionism is more likely to take a toll on your mental health than thrust you into greatness.”

I’m a textbook overachiever. In school, I was that kid who got disappointed if I scored 95 instead of 100. I spend way too much time agonising over articles that’ll be edited anyway, and I struggle to pick up hobbies if I think I may not immediately succeed at them. Everything I do has to become my magnum opus. In short, I’m a perfectionist. 

Perfectionism is a bit of a paradox. There’s a part of me that truly believes my perfectionism is a gift. But sometimes, the pressure to be the best at something (or everything) can feel suffocating.


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Despite its name, perfectionism doesn’t guarantee perfection. That’s right – studies have found that perfectionism is more likely to take a toll on your mental health than thrust you into greatness. More often than not, perfectionism paralyses you, leaving you feeling like a failure before you’ve even begun. 

Lately, I’ve been wondering what it would be like to embrace mediocrity instead of running away from it. Could I ever learn to be okay with being ‘just okay’?

Normally, this is the part where I’d introduce our expert; someone with the title and accolades to prove their opinion is worth hearing. But that didn’t feel quite right. I didn’t want to talk to someone who’s already made it; I wanted to hear from someone who’s at peace with the process of getting there.

Bella*, my best friend in the whole world, has a gift I envy. In the past five years, she’s tried everything from illustrating books to coding video games to learning Japanese. For a long time, I felt small next to her – she was magical. It seemed like there was nothing she couldn’t do. I didn’t realise at the time that Bella’s secret wasn’t just her talent; it was a willingness to try despite the possibility of not being the best.

What separated us was a mindset. While I let my perfectionism paralyse me, Bella pushed through the growing pains of learning something new. And after years of friendship, I finally asked her to teach me how.

First, Bella tells me there’s freedom in letting go of the ego. For many people, the fear of being seen as imperfect outweighs the possible joy of achieving perfection. Once Bella shut out her ego and shifted her focus to personal growth as her measure of success, she realised the pursuit of perfection was futile. “I’m more fulfilled by doing my best than trying to be the best,” she says, “That’s a standard I can never meet because it’s always changing.” 

Personal growth, I note, requires actually getting started – something I’m infamously afraid to do. Bella shares that one of her art school professors once told her to draw 1,000 figures in one class. A few lines here, a couple of strokes there, then onto the next one. Without the time to perfect each drawing, her emotional attachment to each piece dissolved, and her fear of starting melted away. “Now, I don’t attach value to everything I do. If it’s bad, okay, it’s bad. At least I can explore why it’s bad and change what I’m doing next time.”

The idea pokes holes in what I’d always believed. I was afraid not caring would lead to failure, so I cared too much. But maybe caring less isn’t a problem. Maybe it’s the only way to begin. And that’s a scary thought.

As it turns out, Bella, for all her willingness to try, still isn’t immune to fear. “My biggest goal is to write an amazing story, but part of me is scared that I have nothing to say,” she says, “I read something along the lines of, ‘You already have the story inside you. You are capable of creating stories; you just struggle to put them on paper.’ That gave me a lot of validation. You can be creative, and you don’t need to be perfect for that to be true.”

I’m biased, but I think everything Bella does is pretty close to perfect. But perfection isn’t the point. In fact, perfection isn’t possible. What makes Bella seem truly magical is that she knows that, yet she tries anyway.

I probably shouldn’t tell you this, but I struggled to write this article because I was worried it wouldn’t be good enough. When I read this after it’s published, I may think about what I should have said or regret not wording something quite the right way. But here it is, out in the open with all its imperfections, and I think that’s a pretty good start. 

For more on ditching perfectionism, try this

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