Everything you need to know about water sex

Wet and wild.

If your knowledge of water sex came from pop culture alone, it would seem like the best kind of sex. In TV and movies, people can’t seem to stop banging in the hot tub, the ocean, the shower and the pool. Trust me, that scene from Spring Breakers is well and truly seared into my mind. 

But as anyone who has ever dared to attempt the deed IRL has learned, it’s not always as smooth as it looks. Adding an extra element into the mix takes a bit of practice. If done correctly, it can be a slippery and slidey delight, but if done incorrectly, it could lead to a chipped tooth, bruised knees and blood all over the tiles. Don’t ask me how I know.

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To ensure you avoid that sad fate and make the most of your wet and wild moments, I spoke to Celeste Hirschman, co-founder of the Somatica Institute which offers sex and relationship coaching and the author of three sexual wellness books. 

“If you have shower sex, it can be romantic, cinematic, kind of that warm up, and the water’s running down both of your bodies, so I think that there’s a visual aspect of it and the standing foreplay aspect of it that’s really, really fun,” she tells me.

As well as the hot and steamy visuals, water helps to minimise the pressure on the body, making it easier for people with less strength, older people or those with limited abilities. “I think you can have that romantic vibe too in a swimming pool or a hot tub because you can hold each other regardless of weight,” says Celeste.

But if you’re going to dive in, make sure you’re prepared. The main issue with having sex in water is that it washes away all of the vagina’s natural lubrication which can make things a little uncomfortable for all parties.

“Even if someone very easily lubricates, it’s going to wash off. And then you end up with an ‘ee ee ee ee’. The squeaky,” she explains. Luckily, there’s silicone lube – the only type that’s waterproof. It doesn’t hurt to have a tube close by just in case (especially if you’re trying out some back-door behaviour). The only thing to remember about silicone lube is that it can damage silicone toys, so make sure you leave those out of your adventures.

The other main potential pitfall is slippage. Celeste advises putting one of those sticky mats on the shower floor (the kind your grandpa has, although you probably don’t want to think about him right now). “I think it’s probably easiest with a shower to come from behind. Because then one of the partners can put their hands up against the wall and it creates more balance.

“I once had a partner try to pick me up to put me on his shoulders to give me oral sex standing in a shower and I was like, ‘Ahh! This is a boundary, I’m sorry! We can do that on solid ground’. He’s braver than me, I have to tell you,” she tells me.

For water newbies, the hot tub or jacuzzi bath is a good place to start. The design allows for pretty much any position and the small space ensures it’ll be intimate. “One person sitting on top of the other person can be really nice,” says Celeste. “But also, if you want to get the jets in the mix, you can do the same as in the shower and come from behind and then you can have the jets squirting on the clitoris.” Double trouble!

Once you’re feeling like a water sex pro, consider taking advantage of the environment by testing out some new things that strike fear in the germaphobes among us. “Water sex could be a way to experiment with water sports,” she laughs. “You can pee on each other in the shower or the bath and then it washes right off.

“If you go in a shower you can clean each other off, so if you’re a little bit more nervous or if you’re more sensitive to smells… nervous about dirt or something like that, that’s a way to really make sure that everything is clean. Analingus is definitely a great thing to do in that situation because you get all clean first,” she says. In the end, if it’s all too much, don’t worry – you can always return to dry land. 

For more on water sex, try this.