What do you regret from your wedding? We asked 8 Fashion Journal readers

WORDS BY IZZY WIGHT

“Listen to your gut when making big wedding decisions.”

Content warning: This article refers to domestic abuse.

For most, planning a wedding is no easy feat. Yes, some couples opt to elope in a sweet-and-simple ceremony. But there are also some who want to celebrate their love with days of festivities, from the bridal shower all the way to the dessert bar – and then all those who fall in between.

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With so many decisions involved, it’s only natural, in retrospect, to wish you did some things differently. Maybe the cake never got eaten, the shoes had you slipping on the d-floor or you chose the Black Eyed Peas for your wedding video soundtrack. Can’t win ’em all. Below, eight Fashion Journal readers share their wedding regrets.

Daphne*, 31, she/her

Having two venues, one for the ceremony and one for the reception. In hindsight, I would have opted for the one, that way you can put all of your energy into one venue. I also wished I choose a more on-trend wedding dress rather than letting the element of tradition influence my choice.

Wear what you want at the time, so you look back and know you really loved your look. It’s definitely worth it to have a videographer on the day. While photos capture some moments, the video is so special to watch as it truly captures the feel of the day. Do what you want on your day. You only get married (hopefully) once, after all!

Lilly*, 57, she/her

Actually having it. I never really wanted to get married. I was young (28) and just got carried away by what other people were doing… I remember it was a great day with family and friends all showing up for us. I don’t believe it is necessary, but I understand people do believe in it on religious grounds. Each to their own. Whatever makes you happy.

Minna*, 34, she/her

The groom.

Val*, 31, she/her

Inviting my father. We had forever had a troublesome relationship and I dreaded having to tell him I’d rather my brother walk me down the aisle than my mother (it was an ugly divorce and I knew they would’ve made a thing to fight over who gave me away). In the end, my father ended up leaving the wedding after the ceremony because he thought it was humiliating for him (because my wedding day was all about him)

It’s worth it to invest in a good photographer. Test your photographer with the engagement shoot. You will forever have those images and honestly, nobody remembers the colour of your napkins or any of that, but having those intimate moments with your partner is amazing to be able to look back on.

Also, getting married in another country! I’m Mexican, so it was easier for us to do it. But honestly, the coin exchange made it way cheaper for us to do it, all of our friends and family who attended (so grateful so many people were keen to travel to Mexico) said our wedding would’ve been in the millions price range in Australia, and we probably only ended up paying around $30 to 40k for our event.

Don’t give in to the pressure of the family. Even if they’re helping out financially, it is not a day for them to invite your cousin’s boyfriend (who you’ve never met) to your party.

Grace*, 31, she/her

Outdoor ceremony. We had to move everything to a second location the day before due to unpredictable Melbourne weather, and it caused so much extra work/stress. It wasn’t what we had ever envisioned so really set a different vibe.

I should’ve spoken up more about my wedding dress. My gown designer talked me into a higher neckline and a smaller skirt and now I look back at photos and it wasn’t what I had actually wanted. On the morning of, I remember not feeling 100 per cent happy with it, not an ideal feeling on your big day!

I regret not playing with more colour and going against the grain of the traditional Pinterest wedding inspo. Weddings have evolved so much, I regret not taking more risks like that now. I also regret having a cake. I never wanted one, I didn’t even get a piece of my wedding cake on the night and in protest, I made it navy because I didn’t want one/don’t think you NEED a wedding cake when you have a beautiful dessert. Silly tradition.

[ I loved] my wedding dance – it will always be a huge highlight of my wedding, it was also so nice to have that moment of just you and your new spouse in the chaos of the day for a few minutes. We did little pot plants as our wedding favours and I love hearing how peoples’ are still alive, it’s a nice personal connection we get reminders of in our life years later.

We also had a good/supportive reception venue that listened to us and went above and beyond. This made the process much smoother. Don’t get sucked into what you think you should do or what people expect to see at a wedding.

Keziah*, 33, she/her

[I regret] our photographer. We had a very small, registry office wedding and one of the first things she said to me as we left the office was, “I only have parking for one hour and 45 mins, but that should be fine!”. We were supposed to have two hours of shooting time (two rolls of film approximately) and she just made us feel as though we were an afterthought for her, perhaps the least exciting of two weddings for her that day.

To top it off, when we received our images there were only 30 (the majority barely useable) when it was outlined we would receive 50 to 70 in our contract. Was pretty disappointing all around.

We did have a party with friends and family later in the day (post-very small ceremony) and our florist did the most wonderful job. Paying a little extra for her to come back at the end of the night and wrap up bouquets for our guests to take home with them was some of the best money we spent! Do as much research as possible and listen to your gut when making big wedding decisions.

Hana*, 36, she/her

I regret actually getting married. After [the wedding], I think his whole attitude changed and he put zero effort in and even became abusive. I think he was under the impression I couldn’t leave. Well, I showed him! [But] having all your family and friends in one room for a big party is magical. Make sure you are certain that the person you marry not only loves you but shares your values completely.

Maeve, 30, she/her

I regret spending so much money on flowers and other ‘decorations’. In hindsight, they made no difference to the reception, cost a bomb and the venue cleared all the flowers at the end of the night – we didn’t even get a bunch to take home! Getting married in a small ceremony ahead of the reception – that’s what I mark as our anniversary and it was really special and romantic. The reception was mainly for other people! I always say to friends planning a wedding to do exactly what they want to do. At the end of the day, it should really be about the couple – not everyone else!

Thi article was originally published on June 12, 2022.

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