Weed dating: I went sober speed dating on a farm, here’s how it went
WORDS BY CAIT EMMA BURKE
“Unlike Ms Bradshaw, I wear practical shoes and have far less disposable income – I don’t think Manolo Blahniks would be advisable footwear when weeding an actual farm.”
A month ago if you’d told me I’d be spending my Saturday morning pulling weeds at a farm while simultaneously speed dating, I’d have thought it was highly unlikely I’d be up and functioning that early on a Saturday, let alone going on multiple dates. But as a recent early-morning convert, my interest was piqued when an email inviting me to try out Weed Dating landed in my inbox.
The invite couldn’t have come at a better time. Lately, I’ve been thinking about how tied to nightlife, and more problematically alcohol, our dating lives are. Maybe you’re someone who goes for daytime hikes with a prospective love interest or spends their first Hinge date scaling a rock wall together, but personally, I’ve always felt the need for a little liquid courage in the early stages of dating.
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I know I’m not alone in this; most people in my life would opt for a drink at a bar for their first few dates with someone. But I also know how clouded my judgement can get when I’m a few natural wines deep. And while I wouldn’t consider myself someone with a ‘green thumb’, the type of people the event description suggested Weed Dating was for, I like the idea of becoming a more plant and garden-savvy adult. (I’ve managed to keep my monstera alive throughout my twenties, so I guess I’m not a complete failure on this front.)
Run by Melbourne-based urban farm Ceres at its Coburg location, Weed Dating is a speed dating event where singles literally pull weeds while meeting prospective lovers and friends. First launched in 2018, Ceres describes it as a chance for Melbourne’s singles to “log off the apps and pick up the gardening tools”, while I’d describe it as another slightly kooky IRL dating event I’m trying out as Melbourne’s self-appointed bootleg Carrie Bradshaw.
Unlike Ms Bradshaw, I wear practical shoes and have far less disposable income – I don’t think Manolo Blahniks would be advisable footwear when weeding an actual farm. So now I’ve got the only two differences between Carrie and me out of the way, you can envisage us as being practically the same person for the rest of this article.
Putting the weed in speed dating
I’ve been speed dating twice, so I was feeling relatively calm when I arrived at the farm. A table with name tags and tea and coffee was set up, and after everyone had checked in and applied their name tags we were taken on a brief tour.
There was something bizarrely heartwarming about being among a group of people who also despised dating apps enough that they’d agreed to spend their Saturday morning essentially providing free labour for a farm, all in the hopes that they might find love.
I realised early on that this session of Weed Dating might not be as fruitful for me as I’d hoped; unlike prior speed dating events I’d attended, it didn’t appear to be categorised as a heterosexual or queer event, which meant that far more women than men had turned up. My rough estimation is that it was 95 per cent women, and as someone who’s only lightly bicurious, it meant my chances of finding a prospective love interest were dramatically diminished.
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Are women just more willing to put themselves out there? Are we less scared of dating with the intention of finding a partner? I would say the answer to both of those questions is yes. I know from speaking to a friend who runs speed dating events that it can be a challenge getting an equal number of men to attend. There were many women around my age and older at the event (late twenties through to mid-forties), so perhaps the desire to meet someone is more front of mind for some women due to our pesky biological clocks.
Post-tour, we were lined up in two rows facing each other with a strip of broccoli plants and weeds in between us. The host of the event provided wholesome farm-centric conversational prompts now and then (“If you were a vegetable, what vegetable would you be?”), and one by one, we got to meet and chat with the other attendees while yanking irksome weeds from the ground.
Something I noticed immediately was how at ease everyone felt having a practical task to do with their hands while getting to know a group of complete strangers. If there was a lull in the conversation, you could turn your attention towards the task, asking your partner about their experience with gardening or lamenting how few weeds there were left in your patch (a problem that happened a few times throughout the event, I guess we were all too efficient at weeding?).
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Everyone I met was lovely, and a common theme I noticed in our conversations was an absolute exhaustion and frustration with dating apps and the way they’ve negatively impacted modern dating. Many people also had a strong desire to date with health and common interests in mind. Several of the attendees told me they didn’t drink or party and found it could be challenging to meet other non-drinkers, while others were particularly active and wellness-focused and were looking for a partner who lived their life in a similar way.
The results are in
At the end of the session, the host handed us a piece of paper where we could write down the names of anyone we’d connected with and wanted to get to know more. If that person also put your name down, then you’d be sent each other’s numbers and the rest would be up to you. I put down one woman’s number, and we were connected but neither of us has messaged each other yet – I’ve not dated women much so it’s an area I feel less sure of myself in.
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The experience has encouraged me to give more outdoors, activity-based dating a whirl (particularly in the morning time sans alcohol, which I never thought I’d be able to do). Would I go Weed Dating again? Sure, only next time I’d opt for a session that’s for heterosexual daters to increase my chances of meeting a green-thumbed lover.
Despite it not being the most successful round of speed dating for me in a romantic sense, I made a friend or two and felt surprisingly invigorated spending my Saturday morning surrounded by farmland and other hopeful single people.
To find out more about Weed Dating and get tickets for its next session, head here.
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