Australian Federal Police is auctioning off more than $1 million worth of criminally acquired designer jewellery

For those with criminally good taste.

Perhaps like me, your virtual shopping carts and Depop saved archive are stuffed with designer pieces you’ve been lusting over for what feels like the better half of a decade. If you’re a kindred spirit, you’ll be pleased to hear that maybe those swoon-worthy statement jewels aren’t too far out of reach.

I’m talking brands like Cartier, Bulgari, Tiffany, Rolex and Emporio Armani. From May 12 to May 17, the Australian Federal Police will be auctioning off recovered jewellery and swiss watches via an online auction for up to 80 per cent less than their retail value. It’s a guiltless dose of retail therapy, with the proceeds from the online auction going towards the Commonwealth of Australia. 

And just to put this total steal (pun intended) in perspective, the auction estimates that the 18ct gold Cartier love bangle, which retails at $15,200, will sell for approximately $4,000 to $6,000. 

The jewellery on offer is all recovered items that were originally purchased with money made from illegal activity, which adds an illicit edge to already highly exclusive pieces – not dissimilar to the episode of The Simpsons when Homer buys Snake Jailbird’s car.

The auction will comprise of 250 items totalling over $1 million dollars in value with the most expensive piece, a Bulgari Lvcea ladies watch, retailing at an almost incomprehensible $42,700. 

The auction is being conducted online and all items up for grabs have been authenticated by expert gemologists and certified diamond graders. Not to mention, the shipping is free Australia wide. 

If some of the criminally-acquired pieces pique your interest, you can register to participate in the online auction here.