I asked 10 people with couples tattoos if they regret them

“My ex left a permanent mark on me, much deeper than a tattoo.”

When under the influence of love, it’s not uncommon for us to be a little blind. We’ll willingly put ourselves on the line, often making outlandish decisions that our single selves would never do – for example, getting matching tattoos.

I’m not here to shame you. Many couples have gone down this route. Think Johnny Depp and his infamous ‘Winona forever’ tat, Angelina Jolie’s dedication to Billy Bob Thornton and Pete Davidson’s shout-out to Kim Kardashian’s law career.

Interested to hear how others navigate the world? Head to our Life section.

Even though couple tattoos are nothing new, society remains convinced they’re a relationship’s ‘kiss of death’. If this is the case, why do couples do it? According to Viren Swami, a social psychologist featured in The Cut, couples are motivated to get matching tattoos to demonstrate their uniqueness, to mark relationship milestones or commemorate somebody.

But tattoos are (typically) permanent and most relationships aren’t, so what happens to these tattoos if the relationship ends? Do we follow our celebrity pals’ suit and cover the tattoo, sheepishly sweeping our relationship faux pas under the rug? And how do you explore a new chapter with somebody else, knowing a piece of you remains aesthetically tethered to your ex?

Eager to discover if others share my concerns, I asked 10 people about the tattoos they share with their significant others and whether the personal branding ever weighed on their consciences.

Nadia*, 23

My partner and I got matching tattoos three months into dating. The tattoo doesn’t have any meaning; we just started talking one day and realised we both wanted a tattoo by a particular stick-and-poke artist, so we decided to go for it. I don’t think I will ever regret the tattoo because I made sure it was something I would have gotten regardless. 

Sasha*, 21

I got an arrow for our couple’s tattoo, and my ex got a bow. They had expressed to me that they always felt hunted by me, and I expressed that I felt pushed to do so, so we thought it was fitting. We had known each other for a while before getting into a relationship, and I think we knew it [the relationship] would not last, so maybe that’s why we got the tattoos. I think of them often, even more so when I see it. 

Even though we haven’t spoken in five years, I would never get the tattoo removed, and I don’t think they would, either. I don’t feel the need to hide this tattoo from anybody, not even my current partner. They know our relationship’s intensity and understand that my ex left a permanent mark on me, much deeper than a tattoo. 

Lee*, 20

My ex and I got two matching kitties on our arms and when we held hands, the kitties would touch. There are certainly times when I regret the tattoo, but we also agreed that the tattoo works as a stand-alone piece. I sometimes forget that it was a matching tattoo because it’s just a part of me, like it’s my tattoo, not a matching one.

Gina*, 22

My girlfriend and I were best friends for five months before dating. The first day we met was Halloween, before a national lockdown in the UK, and we were living in university halls. She knew that she would have to go home for four months and that we wouldn’t see each other. On impulse, we decided to stick and poke a small smiley face on our ankles. 

Let’s just say neither of us would get a smiley face again but it’s small and it means a lot now as we’ve been together for two years. I love its significance; it represents that exciting time of being best friends and not knowing where our relationship was going. 

Margaret*, 23

‘FF’ is our tattoo, and it stands for ‘forever friends’. We had been friends/sleeping together for three years and officially together for about 11 months when we got the tattoo. We began our relationship very messy but constantly maintained that we would stay friends and did so successfully. ‘Forever friends’ was a little homage to our beginning and our commitment to each other. Even if we break up, we know what we have is special, so putting it on our bodies makes sense.

Maryam*, 30

My partner and I got matching bumblebees on our elbows and vines on our ring fingers the week before we married. The first tattoo we got together (before we were officially together) was significant to our friendship and something we planned to get when we met for the first time, IRL! We both loved tattoos, and it was a symbol of something that, at the time, was meaningful. 

We have both gotten a lot of tattoos in between, but I still hold our first one in a very special place. It definitely built-in meaning over the years and made me realise how special our relationship was and how comfortable we were with each other that we decided to make that huge decision that first time meeting.

Mariana*, 18

My ex and I were both into tattoos and thought matching [ones] would be adorable, so we got the first initial of the other person’s name on our side boob, written and done by each other. We’ve broken up twice since getting it, and while it’s a harsh reminder, it meant a lot at the time. It’s a physical connection to my ex, which makes me feel good that we still have that despite our lengthy relationship being over. 

Freya*, 22

My partner Sara and I got matching abstract flower tattoos on our backs on holiday in Jamaica. We were on the beach talking about our future together – what we wanted to be, where we wanted to live and most importantly, will our feelings for each other now at 22 and 23 change as we grow? The way that I love her so naively right now, but as I grow and mature into my adulthood, the feelings I have for Sara and the way I show my love to her might change, so we thought we should get something that reminded us of our current feelings for one another. As cliche as I sound, we are still together and very much in love. 

Olivia*, 22

My ex and I were broken up when we got our tattoos together, but we couldn’t stay away from each other. It was a spur-of-the-moment thing; we did stick-and-pokes on each other. Even though I haven’t seen her in over a year, I don’t regret it. She was my first love, and even if it makes me sad or mournful sometimes, it also reminds me to remember the good times. Because I have a lot of tattoos, people I date don’t usually ask about them. 

Fatima*, 22

We got our tattoos two months into dating, which is crazy to think about now, but I love my tattoo and them more and more every day. I don’t think about the possibility of breaking up. This tattoo reminds me daily that I am loved and lucky to have a love like this.

*Names have been changed to protect privacy.

For more on couples tattoos, head here.