Why you should try period sex, according to a somatic sexologist

“Feeling pleasure is really good for pain in many instances.”

I don’t know about you, but I love openly discussing topics that make people squirm. There’s just something fun about opening a can of worms and letting them run riot. What’s my favourite weapon of choice, you ask? Periods.

Before you think I’m evil (I prefer comedic genius), I mostly like to talk about periods openly around men so they can learn about what they’re actually like – rather than having extremely inaccurate ideas in their heads. This can either go well or end very awkwardly, but it’s all part of the fun.

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One specific aspect of periods that sits very 50/50 on the scale of conversation outcomes is period sex. You either love it, or you’re grossed out by it. Curious about the topic and eager to add it to my repertoire of controversial conversations, I spoke to somatic sexologist, Alice Child – and learnt there are actually benefits to having period sex. 

Physical benefits

One of the best benefits (in my opinion) Alice told me was the potential relief from menstrual cramps and pain. “Feeling pleasure is really good for pain in many instances [because] it helps the pelvic floor relax,” Alice says. “When we’re having sex or when we’re experiencing pleasure, there are lots of really powerful hormones and neurotransmitters which are released in our brain and throughout our bodies.”

When we orgasm during sex or self-pleasure, what happens is our pelvic floor tenses and then releases, so many vulva-owners have found their menstrual cramps are temporarily eased.

“Also, because of that tensing and releasing that you experience in… pleasure, people have said their periods are shorter when they have sex on their period because it helps shed the lining faster because of all of that continual releasing,” Alice explains. Shorter periods and relief from cramps? Sign me up.

Although this sounds great, I was struggling to wrap my head around the fact that period sex can relieve the pain of menstrual cramps. Wouldn’t penetration while suffering from cramps be the last thing to relieve pain?

“Endorphins are a kind of hormone that gets released during pleasure… but endorphins are also the body’s natural pain relievers. It’s why during pleasure and during sex, your pain threshold is sometimes doubled and you can take a lot more pain because all of these endorphins and all of these hormones are travelling throughout your body.” 

However, this is a unique experience for each individual and what one person may find pleasurable, another may not. Alice says this is why it’s important to listen to your body and only do what feels good for you.

Many vulva owners often have a higher sex drive during their period, too. Alice explains that this is because of the way that progesterone and oestrogen ebb and flow throughout your cycle.

“It’s really common on days two or three of your period to suddenly get really turned on and to experience a moment of high libido,” Alice says. Of course, it tends to be on the heaviest days of our cycle (eye roll).

“Also, there’s more blood flow to the vulva during a period,” Alice says. This means heightened sensitivity and increased sensations, which can result in more pleasure than usual when the area is touched.

And period sex doesn’t just need to be done with a partner. If you’re going solo, you can grab your favourite toy and experience just as much pleasure (if not more) and reap the same benefits.

Emotional and social benefits

One of the special aspects of period sex or self-pleasure is it helps to normalise the often taboo topic. Alice says that doing so can also help individuals accept their bodies.

“It also really opens up a discourse and that communication with your partner as well,” Alice points out. Getting them to understand your desires, especially if they’re not too keen on the idea of period sex, is an important discussion you need to have.

“I think generally a lot of people have the ick by the idea [of period sex],” Alice says. “You sort of replicate the views that you hear about and when other people go ‘That’s gross’ then you’re more likely to be like, ‘Yeah, you’re so right’.

“There could be fear of, you know, is it hygienic? Is it dirty? Can I get an infection from it? There’s really nothing dangerous or dirty or wrong [about it].”

An important thing to remember when trying to overcome the stigma surrounding period sex is there really isn’t that much blood. In fact, over the whole four to five days of our period, most vulva owners only lose approximately two to three tablespoons of blood.

“If you’re not someone who has a period, you might think that it’s like rivers of blood and it’s really alarming, but there really isn’t that much blood that happens,” Alice says. “It probably isn’t going to be as intense or terrifying as what’s going on in your head.”

Laying down a dark towel is a quick and easy fix that many people opt for as a mess-free way to enjoy period sex. “And the sensation doesn’t feel all that different, it’s just like sex any other day of the week for a lot of people,” Alice adds.

Sydney-based somatic sexologist and sex and intimacy coach Alice Child is the founder of Vulva Dialogues. She works with individuals, couples and groups, helping people achieve happier, healthier and more fulfilled sex lives – whatever that means for them.