What’s the pettiest thing you’ve done after a breakup? 9 Fashion Journal readers weigh in

“A barrage of anonymous Google reviews from different accounts slandering him by name.”

Breakups are often messy. While yes, some duos do make the successful transition from lovers to friends, a good portion find themselves resenting each other after a split. And sometimes, in the heat of the moment, breakup circumstances result in silly retaliation.

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Maybe you asked for a gift you gave them back or spread a rumour that they stink. We’re only human, right? Below, nine Fashion Journal readers share the prettiest thing they’ve done post-breakup.

Irina*, 22, she/her

A guy who begged me to be exclusive suddenly decided he didn’t want to see me anymore a few weeks later (I was really into him). I was really upset, but at a party one night I asked him if we could still be friends with benefits because the sex was that good. He agreed. I then proceeded to kiss his best friend in front of him, and we dated for two months after. It hurt his ego so bad that he didn’t talk to me for a year (even though he immediately got back with his ex).

Maddy*, 32, she/her

Got a ‘divorcee’ tattoo. We are now back together.

Lee*, 27, they/them

When I was in my very early twenties, I dated a guy who was about eight years older. Now that wouldn’t phase me all that much, but at the time there was a clear power imbalance. I was young and inexperienced and really, really into him, and he took advantage of that.

To cut a long (and frankly depressing) story short, he ghosted me hard after pushing for us to be exclusive. He was the head chef at a beautiful and highly-anticipated new restaurant, so I left a barrage of anonymous Google reviews from different accounts slandering him by name. Honestly, his food wasn’t as good as he thought it was anyway.

Arielle*, 25, she/her

Two weeks after being cheated on and dumped in a particularly nasty way, I realised I had offered to be a fake reference for a job he was super excited to be in the running for. Not quite the dream job, but a massive jump forward career-wise. I only remembered this when I answered my phone and it was the new gig looking to chat about him. It took all of two seconds to decide I had the right to be a psycho.

I gave a terrible phone reference and then provided the boss I had impersonated’s actual email for a follow-up. Like a month later, his sister sent an insane message to let me know that my ex had missed out on the new position and was let go from his original job. Me and the chlamydia he had left me with weren’t too bothered. I regret nothing, fuck you Michael*!

Finn*, 24, he/him

I guess it’s not as petty in retrospect, but after my first serious relationship, I had to block her on all socials and even got as far as burning some Polaroids of us together in an old non-stick frying pan on my dorm-room balcony. I cried a lot in those nine months post-breakup.

Dina*, 29, she/her

I tried to make my ex-boyfriend jealous by flirting with his friend, but then he took that as a challenge and actually slept with one of my friends. The worst part is that his friend was kind of smelly and I had zero intention of going there anyway. One-zero to my ex.

Fatima*, 29, she/they

I found a company that anonymously sends a tube of glitter that explodes upon opening, sent it to my ex and sadly never found out the outcome.

Shelly*, she/her

This actually wasn’t me but a legend in my hometown, [and it’s] a story that needs to be heard. His girlfriend broke up with him and to be petty, he decided to attach her number to a poster of Chewbacca from Star Wars, asking people to call in for the best Chewy impersonation to win.

Aiyana*, 35, she/her

I bought my partner a vintage Reebok bomber jacket as his prize after losing a bet. This bomber is incredible and I wore it often! When we broke up, I hid the jacket before he started packing all his things up. I couldn’t bear the thought of walking down the street one day, seeing him wearing it or even worse, seeing another girl wearing this vintage bomber. He kept asking me “Where’s that Reebok bomber?” and I just kept playing dumb like I had no idea what he was talking about. I even helped him look for it! As petty as it was, I’d do the exact same thing if I had my time again!

*Names have been changed to protect privacy.

For tips on how to heal after a breakup, head here.