The best sex scenes on screen, according to sexologists
imageS via imdb
as told to daisy henry
“Fantasy lives in the not yet.”
There’s been a shake-up in the world of erotica. Since March, access to many major porn sites in Australia has been blocked, sending those in need of inspiration in other directions. Some have turned to audio erotica sites like Quinn and Dipsea, horny podcasts like The Sex That Changed My Life and smutty books like Fourth Wing.
It’s also opened up the conversation for more ethical porn sites and depictions of sex that cater to the female gaze.
For more sex and relationship stories, try our Life section.
However, film lovers will know that there’s just as much to be gained from a well-choreographed sex scene. From hockey players to hot Priests (yes, really), the fantasy and storylines showcased in film and TV are, in many cases, even better than watching the real thing.
Yet the world of streaming platforms is vast and varied. To help point you in the right direction, we asked four Australian sexologists to share their favourite sex scenes from film and TV.
Off Campus
Chosen by: Selina Nguyen, relationship and sex therapist
I’m just like the other girls when I say it’s the mutual masturbation scene from Off Campus for me. In this scene, Hannah asks Garrett to help her have an orgasm so that she feels ready to hook up with her crush, Justin. This is Hannah wanting to reclaim her sexuality following a trauma. At the start, you can see Hannah’s visibly nervous and she’s trying to perform sexiness.
What’s so beautiful is how perfectly the scene interweaves emotional safety and sexual tension. They dance together to take the pressure off, and it’s both silly and sexy. Garrett talks her through it in order to stay grounded. It’s such a pivot from how sex is portrayed in film, particularly for victim-survivors.
Fleabag, season two
Chosen by: Alice Child, somatic sexologist and founder of Bedrock Clinic Sydney
Fleabag season two might be the best case study in erotic tension I’ve seen on screen. The Priest scenes are pure Jack Morin: Attraction plus obstacles equals arousal. Every look, every ‘kneel’, every held breath is charged because the obstacle (his vows, her ambivalence, the impossibility and taboo of it, the subtle but always present power exchange) is real. Fantasy lives in the not yet.
And there’s no coercion anywhere. Both are choosing each other at every moment and both are allowed to pull back. Female desire is also centred: Fleabag isn’t the object; she’s the one who wants and fantasises. Restraint, not release, is what makes it so hot.
@alicechildofficial @bedrockclinic
Heated Rivalry
Chosen by: Lauren French, sexologist and sexuality educator
I absolutely love Heated Rivalry, particularly as it encompasses one of my favourite genres of literature: hot hockey men on top of other hot hockey men. But while the early episodes are all sweaty, amazing, tension-filled moments of clapping cheeks, episode six brought the perfect mix of frantic and fun. We see Shane and Ilya not only crave each other but laugh together.
Sex should have joy and moments of humour, but most media representation skips over this to focus on the previously mentioned sweaty fun, but that just boxes sex in as one-dimensional. Here we see sex intertwined with open communication, honesty and even a moment of role play! It’s fun, emotional and presents us with the kind of sex we often hope for in our relationships.
Challengers
Chosen by: Aleksandra Trkulja, sex, relationship, body image and trauma therapist
In Challengers, Tashi, an up-and-coming pro tennis player, has the attention of two fellow male tennis players, who happen to be best friends. They both want her number, until one night she invites herself to their shared hotel room. Here she sits between the two men. There’s so much anticipation, and she begins to slowly kiss each of them while the other watches on eagerly, until all three of them are kissing.
Tashi pulls back to rest on her elbows while the two men make out with each other before realising she’s not partaking. Tashi smiles, satisfied, and leaves the room. The eroticism in this entire movie is unmatched but the particular scene is masterful.
For more on sex scenes in film and TV, head here.
Liked this? You’ll love these...
