Single FJ readers share their honest thoughts on Valentine’s Day

“It’s kind of a nice reminder that I’m my own number one.”

While Valentine’s Day is typically thought of as a celebration of romance and lust, for those without a partner, February 14 can feel more like the world jeering at your singledom. You shouldn’t care (it’s mostly a capitalist scam anyway), but you might – and that’s okay. The roses and candy hearts and invites to ‘single Galentine’s Day’ dinners can feel like a lot.

Interested to hear how others navigate the world? Head to our Life section.

On the flip side, maybe you cherish the opportunity to show your friends and family just how much you care. For insight into what single people think about February 14, we asked Fashion Journal readers to share their thoughts.

Adisa*, 23, she/her

As I get older… holidays mean less and less, V-Day included. In Australia, it’s obviously not that big of a deal and I don’t really think about it. I’ve found the solidarity and hilarity of being single seem to trump being in a relationship on this day anyway… I’d rather go out with my friends (who I love dearly) than feel embarrassed and pressured to be in a relationship.

Phoebe*, 43, she/her

It’s been a long time since I was in the type of relationship that celebrates Valentine’s Day… I used to really love the opportunity to have a cheesy love celebration. When I was younger and single, a few of us used to do a ‘Galentine’s Day’ – but the older I get, the less I care about it. I’m very happy being single, so some years I’ll shout myself some flowers or a fancy meal at home. Good luck to anyone who wants to celebrate… what’s the harm?

Isla*, 25, she/they

I used to hate it as a teenager but decided at 16, I’d had enough of being made to feel like being single was the worst thing ever. I took myself on a date to the movies and I’ve done that every year since, whether I’ve been single or not. I’m my number one!

Navy*, 23, she/her

I think if you’re in a relationship, you shouldn’t need a whole day to celebrate your love. It should be any day of the year (or if you’re really in love, every day). I remember learning about the day. I have always felt lonely when I wasn’t dating, but now I just think it’s an annoying day for us single people [to watch] couples celebrate their love on social media… when we know in the background there may have been arguments or other stuff happening.

Victoria*, 20, she/her

I have so much love all around me, both my sisters have strong relationships and [I have] close friends. I love this time of the year – maybe because I’m hanging out for my moment where I’ll spend it with someone I really love. I think as I’m getting older, I’m ok with where I’m at.

Imani*, 21, she/her

Valentine’s Day is cute in theory – a day to celebrate love! I don’t really care about being single on Valentine’s Day nor would I worry about big dates or presents if I was with someone. However, I do try to keep busy because there is that moment when you sit down and realise you’re single on Valentine’s Day again. And while I claim to not care (and the majority of the time I don’t), I do have a tiny bit of hope that I’ll run into a cute guy or receive a surprise bunch of flowers!

Farrah*, 20, she/her

It’s just another day I guess. I’ve been single my whole life and really my only memorable Valentine’s Day was when I got Covid. I think it’s over-commercialised. You should be showing people you love that you love them, every day… not because people tell you you should.

Lei*, 19, she/her

When I was younger, it was definitely something I felt I was missing out on. A few kids at my school would receive gifts or notes and I would often feel deflated. But as I’ve grown older and done some more exploring of who I am… my opinion has changed. I don’t think I need the validation of a gift or a note to know someone loves me. I know the feeling of love and I’m okay with people not externalising that emotion into cards or flowers… it feels more personal and intimate to share the love each day, and not only on one dedicated day.

Sylvia*, 21, she/her

I feel it’s taken too seriously and [is] over the top, especially in the media. It’s become a massive generator of waste. The essence of celebrating love is so pure and positive, whether it be for partners or friends, and stripping it back to this is what I love.

Jennifer*, 25, she/her

I used to not care at all, as I felt my time would come to spend it with someone special to me (romantically). But as I’ve got older (and spent some time single) on this day, I can’t help but feel a little lost or left out. ‘Galentine’s’ dinner dates are super cute, totally underrated and more fun.

Ava*, 31, she/her

I’ve never had anyone to spend Valentine’s Day with. I was bitter and sad that I didn’t get those public displays of affection my friends were getting from their significant others. However, as time goes on… I don’t feel I’m missing out on anything special and often I forget about Valentine’s Day.

My views have changed with the way I approach relationships. I don’t need romantic partnerships to feel fulfilled. I can buy myself flowers.

Caroline*, 31, she/her

Last year was my first single Valentine’s Day in six years, and a bish was bitter (but my bestie sent me roses). This year I am single and happy, therefore IDGAF. I’m content. I know that social media posts don’t equal happiness, so I don’t get too bothered by all of that. I do think people in love should enjoy celebrating V-Day. I’m sure it will be a little sickening but I’m for the lovers.

Hadia*, 23, she/her

It’s a weird phenomenon for me because every time I was in a relationship, it always missed or ended before Valentine‘s Day – kinda like a curse. So I have spent every Valentine‘s Day single, which is unfortunate but I‘m not mad about anymore. Before that I always felt left out, because of all the guides, ideas and plans made by people around me.

All these possible scenarios and I thought, ‘Am I so terrible that I don‘t deserve this?’. My mind drifted to past relationships (even ones that didn‘t end well) and I spiralled thinking about how my ‘perfect romantic day’ would’ve looked. It made me feel sad and unwanted… I craved intimacy with another person.

With this upcoming Valentine‘s Day, I have made peace. I learnt how important it is for my mental health to be happy for other people and concentrate on my own life. Now I‘m thinking, ‘I can‘t wait to do this with my future partner’. I think about how I can treat myself on this day because self-love is valid too.

Mary*, 33, she/her

I’ve never liked it. It’s an overrated day which reinforces the fact that you’re still single. The less hype the better.

Aviva*, 22, she/her

I’m not fussed, I’ve never spent Valentine’s Day with anyone in my 22 years. I’m kinda used to it now. Although it does make me feel as though I should start getting out there! I want to know what it’s like! I don’t think single people should feel as much pressure as they do on Valentine’s Day, it’s just a day about love! It doesn’t have to be just for a significant other, you could spend it with friends or family.

Fatuma*, 23, she/her

This year, it’s my second time being single and celebrating Valentine’s Day after being in a five-year relationship. It’s strange, but I’m getting used to it. I think the more I come to terms with the ending of my relationship, the more I am accepting that it wasn’t me. And therefore instead of being sad on Valentine’s Day like I was last year, I now choose to celebrate it. I have a day/night full of love spent with my close friends… celebrate love! Celebrate yourself!

Harlow*, 23, she/they

In school, I felt it was a way to celebrate my love for my friends. Since then, I feel it’s overrated! Why should appreciation and love be shown one day a year?

Charlie*, 22, she/her

My family has always celebrated Valentine’s Day as an extension of my brother’s birthday on the same day. My dad buys me and my mum flowers, and as kids, we’d have heart-shaped chocolates in our lunchbox. So it wasn’t until I was older that I realised it was commercially a celebration of romantic love. As a long-time single gal, jealousy rears its ugly head often.

I long for the boyfriend/girlfriend setup that some of my best friends have. But I spend a lot of time (and money in therapy) working on not being jealous. February 14 is the one day I let myself sit with the jealousy and not try and make it go away. Truthfully, it sucks to be single on V-Day! However, in saying all of that, in the lead-up to V-Day, I focus a lot of attention on myself. I take myself on dates and just treat myself to every indulgence. No one else is doing that for me, so as I’ve gotten older it’s kind of a nice reminder that I’m my own number one.

Paige*, 30, she/her

I remember in high school on Valentine’s Day, everyone would send roses. On the day someone would come to your class and hand out a rose to the lucky recipients… I remember the suspense, waiting to see if you were next.

Each year I hoped I’d get one, even though I was so shy and never spoke to any boys. But too many romantic movies had me thinking I had a secret admirer. Now I kinda hate how each Valentine’s Day is just a parade on social media to show off what people got from their partners.

*Names have been changed.

For more musings on Valentine’s Day, head here.