30 more exciting things to do than watching the Royal Wedding

Illustration by TwylaMae
Words by Fashion Journal

What wedding?

Unless you’ve been under a rock these past few months, you’ll be acutely aware the Royal Wedding mere hours away. And while this means our TVs will be bombarded with coverage, watching it is not necessarily the way most of us want to spend our Saturday night.

Don’t get us wrong, we love to see Queen Liz knocking back a champas as much as the next person but we’ve had enough of the Royal Wedding buzz that’s been plaguing our newsfeeds for a month.

So if you plan on bunkering down and avoiding wedding watch this weekend, here are 30 far more exciting ways to spend your time.

1. Re-ordering your spice rack

2. Watching Everybody Loves Raymond from 6.30pm to 8.30pm on Channel 11

3. YouTube-ing videos of Britney Spears singing without auto-tune

4. Listening to the Yanny/Laurel audio on loop for five hours

5. Painting a wall, watching it dry

6. Memorising Nicki Minaj’s rap in ‘Monster’

7. Nailing the lift from Dirty Dancing

8. Attending the 53rd Peninsula Open Chess Tournament in Queensland

9. Rereading Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Chapter 31: The Battle of Hogwarts

10. Sitting on hold to Telstra

11. Playing the entire discography of Meatloaf

12. Recreating the hair and makeup looks from MBFWA

13. Perfecting the art of parkour

14. Driving around in search of supermarkets still stocking Starbust

15. Learning this dance from Honey

16. Writing a list of examples which prove Antoni from Queer Eye can Cook

17. Reading Kanye West’s entire Twitter feed

18. Learning how to pronounce Saoirse Ronan’s name

19. Perfecting an impression of Kim’s krying face

20. Reliving this harrowing Australian TV moment

21. Relieving Australian TV’s most controversial moment

22. Performing an arena spectacular like Mr G The Musical: The Story Of A Teacher Who Cared Too Much from start to finish

23. Painting your own Girl with the Parrot Earring portrait

24. Learning how to prancercise

25. Studying The Queen’s choice of hats over the years

26. Taste testing all the supermarket’s black teas

27. Learning to like sparkling water

28. Giving your opinion in the Youtube comments section

29. Coming up with your own Shark Tank pitch

30. Writing a pros and cons list comparing sprinkles with 100s & 1000s

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