Australia’s Next Top Model Season 9, Episode 7

Cheyenne got her sass on, Brittany went full bogan and Lauren kept the boys guessing who.

Alex Perry gave the gals a lashing last week so the episode kicked off with the girls practising their poses. Namely Alex, who contorted her body into lots of weird positions including a backwards leg mount and her infamous overextended crossed arms. Lots of hair flying around too. It was great fun.

“Sometimes Alex scares me.”

Me too Brittany.

The challenge. OH MAN. The Mazda challenge. The girls put on their semi-business outfits to meet Cheyenne and the marketing and communication directors from Mazda. Alistair and Jaylee.

Holy moly. What happened next was just great television. After Cheyenne revealed that the girls would have to make a sales pitch to the directors for the new Mazda2, the girls froze out of fear.

“So who thinks they can nail this?” Cheyenne asked.

SILENCE. So much silence. More silence. Can you hear the silence? Awkward lip biting too.

“Who can win?” she pushes.

“Really? You’ve got a client right here, this is almost a casting already so…”

And then the weird body jerking occurred. It seemed like Cheyenne was prompting the girls to speak up because duh, the directors are right there and she feels mega awks but she was just twitching around manically and it was all so awful. Must have been a nervous angry tick.

Cheyenne took the girls outside and showed us just how sassy she can be. She was pissed off and embarrassed. Brittany took her aggressive critique badly and Cheyenne did not appreciate her attitude. They sorted it all out because Cheyenne’s super nice buy yikessss so much TENSION.

So the casting call was pretty bad. Basically none of them can act. Lauren and Jess did an alright job though. The challenge also required them to take a photo with the car. Cheesy awkward car photos are the werst.

Jordan was a bit robotic but Alex, Brittany and Lucy completely bombed and forgot their script. Particularly Brittany who reverted to her bogan state (yas!) and how the Mazda2 is much more comfortable than the excavators, bobcats and heavy machinery she’s used to.

“You feel safe in it I think. A lot more safer than being on a construction site and being around you know, dangerous things.”


She also swore so that was awesome but unfortunately it didn’t snag her the win. Lauren won the challenge and $5000. She made up a pretty sweet tagline for the pitch.

“If you’re one of those girls who wants the boys guessing who, the Mazda2 is definitely for you.”

YOU GO LAUREN. I would like the boys guessing who. Also sold.

The photoshoot was pretty darn cool. Alex Perry was on set to crank up the pressure for a Fight Club-style photoshoot with guest judge, Alyssa Sutherland. Crazy times.

The photographer was Simon Upton and he was not taking any catalogue pics today. High fashion baybay.

Everyone was really scared about posing and pretend-fighting with Alyssa Sutherland. Alex did pretty well and managed to appear taller than her. Jordan was a bit stiff and had trouble getting into it. Jess wasn’t angry enough, Lauren got to straddle her and Lucy showed us TOUGH.

I was pretty excited for Brittany because she’s been in “a fair few fights before.” Classic. The photographer had to ask her to tone it down though because the combination of her fist and bared teeth made things ugly.

The judges were throwing up quite a few 10 out of 10 scores at eliminations. Lucy got a 10 from Alex Perry, which was pretty validating after last week. She also got a 10 from Alyssa along with Alex and Brittany.

Jess and Jordan were at the bottom. Alex Perry kept going on about how he pegged them both for the top four and that he’s never wrong. You’re wrong buddy.

Jordan got sent home because Jess had a stronger photo. Awkward hug with Jen over the table. We’ll be seeing you.

Next week looks like a ridiculous treadmill-esque runway challenge with Colgate Optic White and Megan Gale is the guest judge. Fun times.


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